Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Am I in the wrong?

I live with my mom, stepdad, and grandparents. My grandfather is very rude and thinks he's above things. He'll belittle you for the littlest things and he's just overall ignorant. 

My mom is borderline narcissistic. She won't believe that she's ever wrong, and if you try to talk about something she does that hurt you, she makes it about herself. 

Now I'm mixed, and I have a fully white cousin and half-sister. I notice that they treat me differently and I don't want to pull the race card, but my grandparents are very "confederate." They already said I'm not getting the help my sister did whenever she turned 18 and went to uni. 

I argue with my mom a lot because of the way she acts, my sister did too. But she just lets it alone and let them say what they want to say. I stand up for myself, and they don't seem to like that. My grandpa specifically.

I have two years left in the house, and he's said tons of times that I'm out of there when I turn 18. Fine by me, I'm done with them. But I can't wrap my head around the fact that because I stand up for myself and tell them just how ignorant they're acting, they just want me out. My grandpa plays guitar with max volume on his speaker for hours even if you're talking on the phone or watching tv and I can't even listen to music in my room with the door open. They make fun of my anxiety and call me a baby and laugh when I bring up therapy. I'm just overall sick of it.


I've talked to my mom about how it makes me feel but she refuses to see that they treat me differently. My stepdad and grandfather make racist "jokes" right in front of her and she only talks about it when I strictly bring it up with her. But then all she has to say is "That's not right," and still doesn't do anything about it. 

Update 2:

Mom has a strained relationship with her parents but grandparents really only want her money. She has a hard time saying no and knows that her parents are abusive in ways, she just refuses to leave the house. My uncle cut contact with them a long time ago which they blame him for. But honestly, I don't.

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    And so now, you can see how your mother was raised and why she is narcissistic and a bad parent.

    You can't fix this and you shouldn't want to.

    You don't say how old you are.

    However, when the abuse gets bad, you can ALWAYS SAY TO THE ABUSER,  "That's just your mental illness talking and this is why you need to get psychiatric help."  Then, walk away from the abuser.

    Believe me, this works.

    Say it often.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think so

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Anon ( not poster, first commenter) OP obviously states that they're basically being mentally abused. People like you fail to see that abuse ain't just getting your *** beat. People like you also fail to see that abuse is abuse, there's no better kind to get. As for OP, you got two years, foster care won't be any better. Just wait it out and then cut contact, they aren't people you need to be around. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If you are being abused, call a child protective hot line.  Other than that - it's your grandfather's house.  He wants to play guitar at full volume?  That's his choice.  You think not being able to "listen to music in [your] room with the door open" is abuse?  Wait until you're in foster care and see what THOSE rules are like.  If you are treated different because you are mixed race, discuss that with your mother or your grandparents or a school counselor or Physician or clergyperson - all mandated reporters.

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