? asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 2 months ago

Why do people get used?

Why do people use people 

I was used and drained by a narcisstic lady 

they don't even feel bad 

5 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It sometimes takes people a while to recognize what narcissism and other personality disorders look like. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    People that are 'used', generally a 'people pleasers', they find it hard to say 'No' or tell the person who is using them, to go 'Fck' themselves.  I usually give everyone that treats me bad a few chances, then it's a case of 'bugger off out of my life' and depending on who they are and how close I am/were to them, I either cut them out completely or just don't drop my barriers when I'm around them.

    It's great that you don't feel bad, as that means that you've recovered from the hurt they inflicted on you.  Just take the next relationship slowly and give her the chance to get things wrong, as no one is perfect!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You change to win them over

    Seek out women who like you. The worst thing you can do is start a connection by pretending to be someone else. All it shows is that you’re insecure and you’ll do anything for approval.

    Do you think a woman will respect you more or less when she sees you’re so easily molded? She’ll never view you as an equal partner and will continue to walk all over you. At first, it will be small changes. Eventually, you’ll forget who you even were.

    You put all your eggs in one basket

    Never close off your other options. Even once something does happen, it’s up to you to set the expectations of what you’re looking for.

    Still introduce yourself to new girls. Still ask for phone numbers. Still message women online. Still go to parties with friends and flirt with people. Still setup dates. Still escalate those dates forward.

    Narrowing your focus to one person has no benefit. You have to start from square one if it doesn’t work out. You’ll tend to view that person as your only opportunity and place them on a pedestal. You won’t evaluate them objectively. You will settle because of a scarcity mentality and not because they’re right for you. And you’ll have a difficult time walking away from mistreatment or low quality women.

    If you get romantic and she turns out to be the only girl you want, then you can stop pursuing others. Until then, date around and get some valuable experience under your belt.

    You won’t feel crappy about making connections based on lies. You won’t blow your money needlessly. You’ll never be led on again because you’ll take action and only invest in women who are attracted to you for you.

    And you’ll realize that whatever negative experiences you may have had were your own doing. Either you tolerated mistreatment or you were the one disrespecting your needs by being inauthentic. Then suddenly, the resentment will fade away.

  • Hayley
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    Some people do not have a backbone or do not want to be alone.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Unfortunately that may be the result of you at least trying to be a good person in a given relationship. This happens to both men and women. I myself have found myself in situations in which the person whom I briefly knew was...perhaps...a very snooty person. Yet it didn't take long for me to realize that about the given woman...And I didn't much time with them at all before moving on to much better people.. I believe that self esteem as well as other negative issues are factors in how people have chosen tp treat others. I myself am not going to change the goodness of myself though. However I will always be careful not allow women to disrespect 

    me while I myself continue to respectful towards others.

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