Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Why do people treat me so badly?

I am a 25 year old male who recently graduated from the Bar and I am beginning the practice of criminal defense. I do dress up for what I do, usually business casual with a white button up tucked into dress pants all tailored fit with dress shoes, I'm clean cut and most always polite and respectful. However, the other day, and not just on this one occasion but plenty of others I get these rude comments or hostile attitudes from people. 

I was in line at Ulta Beauty shopping for my girlfriend the other day and while the cashier was ringing me out we were having small talk and she asks me what I do for a living and I told her I practice criminal defense and right after that this couple behind me guy and a girl, in their late 30s early 40s the guy says not so subtlety "Criminal defense my a**" and then they snidely laugh and give me looks of disgust. Its obvious he was talking about me. Here's the thing, it's not that it phased me like that or hurt my confidence but then again it made me question myself and ask if its myself or just these other people are they jealous or do I just look like a slouch and a schmuck who looks like he's not worth dirt?

Not just this but other stuff like this happens on plenty of occasions. Wouldn't call them putdowns but then again it could be. I'd love peoples responses. Please no negative or rude responses only positive feedback!

9 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Why do they treat you like that? Well you need to ask THEM. People do things for myriad reasons. 

    By the way it's "fazed" not "phased". 

  • 1 month ago

    Because you set yourself up for snide remarks by being so specific about the type of law you practice.  In a casual setting as you were in, it would have been sufficient to simply say that you are an attorney.  One other thing people do not "graduate" from the Bar, they pass the Bar and graduate from Law School.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    cause they treat everyone that way

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Because lawyers as a whole have a reputation of being bottom feeders.  They have jokes made about them like "What do you call 500 lawyers jumping out of an airplane without parachutes?  A good start".  They are one step above used car salesmen.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    hmmm this really stumps me since I am 27 in a PhD program, who is also educated and well put together....and you seem similar to a guy I like and am dating who is also educated....and he nor I haven't received any negative attention or comments, actually quite the opposite. I don't see why you'd get negative comments

    some people are perhaps just jealous as they see someone clearly younger than them but more well put together than they ever would. it could be that or given the current political climate that criminal defense and those involved in law and politics and police or any related field are seen in a negative light? I don't know, just some guesses....

    either way, keep doing you and ignore others. also, it may help to not give out so much info? I'd just saw you're in the field of law or something...keep it vague.

    good luck and congrats on passing the bar!

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If this type of interaction bothers you, what are you going to do when your boss or a client starts yelling at you?  Why are you giving out personal information?  Be as nondescript as possible.  Just say "I work for a firm in this city."  There's no need to elaborate.

  • 1 month ago

    Remember, people are often more comfortable in criticizing/judging others rather then look at themselves.  In that moment you were summed up by others, so given you cannot control or change other people, choose to put your focus elsewhere.  Only you know your own value and worth, and the opinions of others need not impact on how you see yourself.

  • polly
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Because your expectations of people are too high.

    Just because you have high standards & you don't stoop to mocking people doesn't mean that other people will act with the same integrity.

    The problem is that some trashy folks get a buzz & feel better about themselves when they get a negative reaction out of others by saying dismissive & derogatory things, like that guy did to you.Don't give them the payoff they're looking for by getting upset.

    Just ignore them as being the petty douchebags that they are

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Hey they are most likely very envious that you have a great career and most likely they do not! Also do you look really young? Maybe they thought you are too young! But looks can be deceiving and people should know that My husband is 33 and I am 23 but people often says they think he is only 24 or 25! So he looks young I guess. Don't change the way you look or dress, there will be jealous people, did you ever hear of the saying people will do anything for money!? Apparently people will knock others down for having money! Be proud you are financially set! Just sit back and laugh thinking hey, if you want to act like a child you will never succeed. Good luck and congrats on graduating from the Bar.

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