What is wrong with my Mom?
I am 18 I have already graduated I am not going to College since I went to a trade school I got 2 jobs I work at a car auto part factory 1st shift (Very good employer and pay they hire a lot of people and the factory is clean they also keep their employees) from 6AM to 2PM and than at 4-10pm I work a minimum wage job at my local grocery store I live in a very small Rural farmtown in Ohio near a big lake lots of people visit here in the summer. I just moved up to my Moms because of the job opportunity and I used to live with Dad but sold his farm and moved to a cabin in Tennessee and kicked me out so thats another reason I moved to Moms. My Dad is 60 and my Mom is 58 years old. My Mom has several different mental health conditions and this is what I need help on she can be very difficult she will ask me a question and repeat that same question over and over 20 sometimes 30 I even did a tally on a post it note of the times she repeats herself. I work more hours than she does on 2 jobs and she only goes for 4 hours a day to her work I pay all the bills except water we have a well but I come home from work tired, filthy, hungry and she has severe OCD she freaks out if I turn on a light so I have to walk around the house with a flashlight so she wont flip out and I pay all the bills Electric, Propane, Sewer, Satellite Dish network (We dont have cable) and buy the groceries and pay for my car insurance and gas but she wont even let me use something I paid for.
She says it disrupts her sleep schedule if I go in to take a shower when her bedroom is upstairs and the bathroom is downstairs. She also wants her house to be clean to the point where she will pitch everything in the house including things I payed for or re arrange my stuff and than I have to hunt the whole house to find my stuff. She also complains about how much I work and that I am a workaholic. How should I handle this I cant take this how should I handle all this should I talk to her?
- 3 weeks ago
If you’re able to pay all these bills, and groceries.. I don’t see why you haven’t moved out? That seems to be the best option.
However, I’m personally very patient with any one that suffers from a mental health condition so I would spend time understanding her, so that she will feel safe enough with me to make a reasonable compromise. She won’t be around forever, try to appreciate what you have now. If you can’t appreciate her while living with her, move out but be there for her
- Jerry SLv 74 weeks ago
move out of her house, and get your own place. also, get your mother medical help. good luck.
- 4 weeks ago
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- 4 weeks ago
Wow so she was 40 when she had you? You're an only child?
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- AnnLv 74 weeks ago
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. You need to make a choice. It will be difficult, but since you're working two jobs, obviously you could choose to at least rent a room in a house and move out of your mother's house. It would be difficult for her, since she has mental issues, but perhaps you could help her get on SSDI. That would help her with her finances, and you wouldn't be so burdened. It sounds like you need to get away from that situation, since it's wearing you down. She's not going to change, but you can change your response to her behaviors by removing yourself from them.
- donnieLv 64 weeks ago
If you say she has mental conditions it’s probably that. Try and be understanding with her.
- PearlLv 74 weeks ago
if she cant remember stuff maybe she should get checked for dementia
- Ron AkiaLv 64 weeks ago
As you've already said your Mom has mental issues, I would assume this could be related to those issues. Have you discussed them with her doctor? If not, do so. I commend you for your work ethics and for taking care of your Mom. In the past, we've cared for a family member and it's difficult.
- chris nLv 74 weeks ago
Your mother sounds like she needs medical attention. Have a private talk with your/her doctor about your worries about her and get his advice. You also ought to tell your father about your health worries for her. If they aren't divorced, your father is still responsible for her to some extent and it's unfair of him to just dump his responsibilities onto an 18 year old. You sound very level-headed and aren't afraid of hard work but you are in an intolerable position and need help - possibly from social services. Talk to the doctor first. Find out what's wrong with her. Sounds a little like early dementia (which is the worst case scenario). She obviously has mental health issues that you aren't equipped to cope with. Then you may have to dig your heels in with her and tell her the truth that YOU are providing for her. She is living off you and your income and she cannot make you live in the dark. However, see the doctor first and get some professional help on your side. Good luck
- Rick BLv 74 weeks ago
I'm confused. You are an adult with two jobs and you do not plan to further your education. Why are you living with your mom ????? If you feel that your current job situation is sufficient, and you feel that you can pay the bills, then move out and start living on your own.