Florine asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

Friend unfairly accuses me (pls help!)?

My best friend (of 6 years) is going through a rough time because her dad is an alcoholic and her parents argue 24/7 and they are divorcing (most likely).  The other day I thought we were having a good talk and I was telling her she could tell me anything, but then she said this – and I don't think she intended to come across in a mean way – "you wouldn't understand a ton, because you have basically a perfect life."  For some reason, this hurt me.  Sure, my life might be better than hers now - my parents love each other and don't argue much, but I thought that was a little unfair for her to say/assume.  I am aware she is upset, but still... My response to her was: "My life isn't perfect, but I want to make you feel better and I understand" or something like that.  She didn't say sorry, she just said she had to do homework and might talk later but had to go.  I Still haven't heard from her and I'm not sure what to say?  Would you be hurt too?  Should I tell her how I feel now? Should I write back? Give her space? Or ask to talk more? Honestly, she's never asked about how I'm doing in a while (I know she has a lot on her plate), and we are starting to drift apart... What should I do about this situation and friendship overall? Need some input. 

3 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It used to be that kids were happy to be normal and have functional families. Only now is it a race to prove who's the most downtrodden and disadvantaged. Sounds like your friend is envious of your life and deserves your support (not a competition from you to see who gets to wear the victim-hood).

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Forget all about her. She does not want to talk. You went a little too far, just let it be. If she wants, she will reach out to you. Let her have whatever time she needs.She may never talk to you again. Let that go, move on. We never truly know what is going on in anyone's  life, so its best to stay out of it, and just a have a open ear, and just LISTEN, offer nothing other than someone to listen.

  • 1 month ago

    My input is to never "Want to make you feel better". I say that because it implies that they don't feel the right way. Of course you don't mean it that way but it's true that trying to stop grief or re-channel it or work to convince anyone in grief that you know better or feel more correctly or know better in any fashion is more rude than one might think. And you don't know her situation and she knows you don't know her situation. Better to sit in silence, listen and squeeze her hand than to try to "make" her do anything. It sounds like, right now, how YOU feel is really less important. I'm sorry to say that but it will likely be true in life as often as your feelings being front and center. Sometimes, our own feelings can really take a back seat and are less important. 

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