How to stop feeling lonely and left out?
I have quite a few friends that I thought I was fairly close with get married or have major milestones happening. I realize it is not their job to inform me of their life, but I feel so detached by seeing it through facebook. Multiple people I was close with have been getting engaged and married (with a very short engagement) and I feel like i'm the last to know about it. I have Social Media but I don't check everyday because I feel it makes me more depressed than happy, but it seems like when I log back in SO much has happened and I feel like wheres the closeness of friendship anymore? I'm finding out EVERYTHING through FB.
I try to never bother people or annoy them. I give them space and focus on me a lot of the time. I always check up on them when they have something big going on and I feel like i'm ALWAYS there to drop them off, pick them up, help them if I can and I feel like I don't get that in return from anyone.
I'm sick of feeling lonely and I guess this quarantine has just made things so much worse for a lot of people. I've noticed the best friends of my friends have been friends since very young practically. I'm not friends with any of my high school or college friends anymore and I'm feeling alone and stuck.
I'm trying to focus on myself and my classes but seeing instagram just makes me feel so alone. I rarely check instagram but I find that I can't help it. I was going to try dating again, but I don't know if that's worth the heartache anymore.
- Dr. StephanieLv 71 month ago
This is your 343rd answer, Galina. Can you imagine what life may have been like before the advent of the computer and social media? People somehow got along, had friends, relationships, dated, married, etc., without all that . We are all under constraints because of the pandemic and isolation, and its an understandable challenge. Social media actually can help us all to stay in touch and to avoid feeling so alone, but it isn't the end of the world, if we have to do without constant communication with our friends and others. Good wishes,
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
Recognize that prior to social media you'd have no idea what these people are doing because you would no longer be even a small part of their lives. This method of communication often does more harm than good in creating a false sense of "friendship" between people who really aren't all that present in one another's lives anymore. Usually people have many more Facebook contacts than they do actual friends and it's usually easier to just post your wedding announcement there than to text or call everyone you know individually. the pandemic is making everyone feel isolated so I wouldn't let what you're feeling right now inform how you function going forward. At least you recognize that living and dying by social media is a bad thing. At the same time you should realize that this is often what passes for modern communication between casual friends and it's probably unrealistic to expect all these people to make sure you know about their life events before they post them to Facebook.
- RickyLv 61 month ago
I'm 28 and I'm only left with only one friend and I only see him like once a month but he lives 40 minutes away from me. All my cousins and friends who I used to hang out with had kids moved on. I used to be really popular in my town and now it's completely gone
- Anonymous1 month ago
I think that what you need to do is to put yourself out there more and engage with your friends more regularly. For instance, instead of waiting for them to message you, reach out to them and be the first one to initiate the conversation. What you will find will happen is that your friends will realize that you are someone who they can turn to instantly on social media when they want to talk. At present, they probably feel that you may not reply straight away.
In saying that, social media is a really superficial means of interacting with people because, while you are conversing with them, the inter-personal element is lacking. Therefore, what I would consider doing is to meet up with them more regularly so you can talk and listen to what is going on. Planning lunches and group dinners are really great ways of doing this. The main benefit of this approach is that you will engage with your friends on a deeper level meaning that they will benefit from your company and turn to you in the future whether it is for advice or just to socialise. I really hope this helps :)
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- seedy historyLv 71 month ago
Send notes, send cards, use the USMail and send congratulations. Lots of people announce good news and get very little response. Be a responder. It doesn't take much and it's greatly appreciated. The success of giving is that it's received, not returned in kind. honest. Otherwise it seems like you are giving in order to get back. That's not really giving. Just keep doing what you feel is the best thing for you to do. And, btw, a decade later MOST people in high school are not so close anymore.