Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureMythology & Folklore · 2 months ago

Is my boyfriend a vampire?

Ok. So. I have a new boyfriend - yay me! We’ve been seeing each other for about five weeks and two days now. Roughly. 

Anyway, a few weeks back we had a vampire movie marathon. I’ve always loved vampires and he does too. He’s so perfect. The only way I could think he was hotter was if he was actually a vampire!

I’ve been experimenting for about a year with eating my own blood - ever since the twilight books came out I’d wanted to do this. I actually consider myself a vampire now. The easiest way is just to collect the blood that I lose naturally each month - I usually just stick my tampons in the freezer and suck the blood out of them later on. 

I decided I would try and “turn” my new boyfriend into a vampire. I’ve been cooking my blood into his food. Whenever he comes over I make a nice pasta with tomato sauce and mix in a little of my blood, or the same if he drinks a red wine. He has no idea. 

How long do you think it will take before I can class him as officially a vampire?

9 Answers

Relevance
  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Troll score 7/10 for this one. Well-written, nicely-conceived, and generally really nice work aside from the small error of posting it anonymously like every other troll.  Good job, dude.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    EEEWWWW! Gross. Dear, you can't eat blood. You'll make yourself sick. That's a very unhealthy habit. And, giving him blood without his knowledge is an insult & an assault. A felony.

    You might as well eat your own poop.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    WOW! You are ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! You need A LOT OF HELP! Go and see a psychiatrist, ASAP! You need a lot of help! Do you know you can get sick and die from drinking blood! 

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 2 months ago

    This is disturbing. I suggest you stop poisoning his food. When he finds out you will be single a long time bc he will definitely tell people. Do U really want to be known as the girl that eats her own vaginal 🩸 blood, & secretly sabotages others food? 

    You do know twilight is not real... right? 

    Source(s): Common sense
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Sadly, no. Gross to the sucking blood out of an artificially perfumed, chemical laden, artificial sponge made out of synthetic fibre and frozen no less. You want to be turned by a real vampire. Like the Vampire Princess Eléonore von Schwarzenburg nee Lobkowitz who left her mortal life from the Schwarzenburg Palace in Vienna in like 1729. You want to find these persons you must research them carefully, learn their languages, learn to dress appropriately which is better than the wannabes in chintzy tacky nylon with plastic bat jewellery. I mean really. Really. These persons were aristocrats in life not cheap street performers. She was one of the richest and Royalest ladies in the world so she didn't start wearing cheap tacky costumes. Learn to speak good classy German and dress and act like Viennese aristos of 1729 if you want to find her specifically;or, adapt my advice to whatever languages and time appropriate for the particular vampire whom you are trying to meet. If you are serious then take it seriously. Do you think that such a great gift as TRUE immortality is easier to get than a job at Burger King or Lowe's.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I am the only vampire left.  All my brothers and sisters in the world of vampires are dead, killed by those terrible people with their wooden stakes.  I survive by setting up phony surgery centers that order blood.  If somebody gets wise to me, I close up shop and move to another city.  Don't ask me to make you a vampire, you don't want this kind of life, trust me you don't!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Uhm - did you know you can go to jail for what you are serving your BF??

    BTW - drinking blood does not make you a vampire - some cultures do it all the time.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    He is cheating on you, all men cheat so get over it!!!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.