I don’t like my fiancé’s daughter. Should I break up with him?

I am 24. My fiancé is 32. I have a son who is 3. He has a daughter who is 7. His daughter loves me and is a sweetheart to me. She is a little demon to my son; however. She doesn’t like my 3 year old son and is very rude to him. Whenever she comes over to our house, she refuses to play with him however she’ll want to play with his toys. She takes his toys away from him and doesn’t let him play with her toys. She’ll go into our refrigerator and take his snacks and not even share HIS snacks with him. If there is one juice box left over, she’ll take it and drink it while scolding him. I also got my son some vitamin gummies and I leave them on top of the counter since he is not tall enough to reach it. She will take him gummy right in front of him and eat one and not give him any. He will cry and ask her to share HIS stuff and she’ll say no. On the couch when my son wants to sit next to her she’ll scoot over so there’s no room. I talked to my fiancé about it and he talked to his daughter and she just cried because she is sensitive. At one point I cried because it hurts me so bad to see my son rejected time after time by this little girl who he sees as his big sister. My fiancé told me she got her attitude from her mom and that’s just how she is. My son is also a handful but I correct his behavior immediately. My fiancé just lets his daughter run rapid. At one point I talked to his daughter and my fiancé got upset.

17 Answers

  • 2 weeks ago

    Run. Fast. The other way. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 1 month ago

    Unless and until you and your fiance learn to co parent, nothing is going to change.

    Also, at your house, YOU make the rules, so stop playing your child as a victim when YOU allow her behavior to continue.

    If you and your fiance do not agree on how to control his daughter, trust me, it will only DESTROY what could be a happy family unit. Girls are brutal to raise under good circumstances,  never mind her being a bully in training.

    Girl, this is serious and you have reason to be ultra concerned...not only about his daughter, but about him and his inability to be a good parent. Do you want THAT guy to be a role model for your son? I think not. That brat kid of his is going to have a negative effect on your son's life, no doubt. You have good reason to be concerned.

    An undisciplined brat kid like his will cause havoc at her mom's house as a teen, then she will be shipped to your house to deal with. Mark my words.

    So, make rules with him, be consistent with them, and tell him that this is the way it is going to be, or the relationship is over!

    Don't make wedding plans yet. This is not just about you.

  • 1 month ago

    Believe it or not, that's a perfectly good reason to break up with your boyfriend.  And no I didn't say fiance, because a fiance is just a boyfriend who bought you some jewellery.  He ain't your legal anything yet, which makes him just a boyfriend.

    And yes, your partner's kid(s) and his views on child-raising are a totally valid reason for breaking up.  That's considered a valid reason to dissolve a legal marriage, so it's definitely a reason to break up a dating relationship.  Give the damned ring back if it means that much to him.

    Except for sexual infidelity, how to raise the kids is the most common reason for divorce in the civilized world.  And since there are very few laws governing how kids must be raised by their parents (you're not allowed to kill them or inflict damage, that's all the law covers), it's something you and your partner either see eye-to-eye on or you don't.  

  • L
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    DUMP your idiot fiance and move on.

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  • 2 months ago

    Ok so why does a 7 year old have to be expected to play with a three year old?  They aren't even the same sex.   And YOU are the adult, can't you set boundaries about toys and other things, like the snacks?  Or are you that weak?

    Your step daughter isn't sensitive, she's in emotional pain so she's taking it out on those around her.  Gee, you're not too bright.

    And she's running "rampid" not rapid.  Yikes

  • Mark
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    She sounds like a Karen in progress...

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    In a way you and your fiancé are letting that girl do exactly what she wants, which is to separate you and your fiancé, because she wants her dad all to herself.

    Quite possibly the 'sweetheart to you' is part of the act, to confuse you.

    But if you think that you will not be able to cope with her around, then there is no future for you and that man.

  • 2 months ago

    Sounds like your selfish and sexist taking your sons side over a female. If your child is wild than she don’t want that. Don’t be a delusional parent who thinks your child is perfect you don’t know what he does to her when your not looking. I’d advise if you’ll break up with him just for that than get a dude who don’t have kids start over and new with him. It’s too much drama to be with someone with kids especially if you have kids too. Like no

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    When in a relationship with someone, it is very important to have similar life goals and similar life standards.  His lack of concern over the discipline of his daughter is a big red flag.  Until the two of you can agree on a discipline style for ALL children in the home, this will continue to be a problem.  This issue could easily become the reason your relationship might fail sometime in the future.  If she is a little terror right now - imagine what the teenage years might become.  

    Also consider what issues you might have if you and he have a child together.  Would the two of you be on the same guidelines for discipline and raising your own child.  After all, he is letting his child get away with being a brat - how would he handle a child with you.

    DO NOT break up because you don't like his child.  THAT is NOT the real problem.  The real problem is that he has never taught his child how to behave and share with other children and has done nothing to correct her behavior when she is with him.  The lack of discipline from him would be the reason to end the relationship - not his child.  The child only knows what he has taught her is okay.  As long as he just makes excuses instead of corrections - he is the problem.

    Do not blame the child for the end of the relationship.  Blame him because he doesn't have the backbone to be a parent.  

    Give him a choice - either get his daughter to behave in your home - or she and he are no longer welcome in your home.  

  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It’s run rampant.  Near the end here...run rampant.  Not rapid.  Talk to your boyfriend, not his daughter.  To be honest my neice used to do that at my house.  My son didn’t like it either.  I stopped having her over at my house.  I explained the situation to her parents and gave them the ultimatum that she has to know that it is not nice and if she doesn’t know that she is not welcome into my home

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