Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 3 weeks ago

Is my best friend toxic? ?

I don't really know where to start, so I'm just going to describe some of the things she does. For one, she constantly does stuff without considering my opinion on it, by doing things talking about my interests, something I’m uncomfortable with because of her. And if even if I voice my discomfort about something, I'm the ***** and the asshole for not doing it, and I'm honestly starting to believe that. She also seems to always turn the blame on me, so if something goes wrong, it's always my fault. She keeps telling me to stand up for myself but has literally told me that she doesn't mean against her. If we ever get into an argument, she either degrades me or just keeps saying whatever when she's wrong. She calls me stupid and the r slur for making mistakes, and calls me a "literal 2-year-old" for being visibly upset about it. If I don't answer her texts right away (within 1 to 2 minutes) she'll start to spam/ text call me. If I can't hang out with her because I'm busy, it kinda feels like she's trying to guilt-trip me to do it, even if I explained why I can't. She constantly talks about her interests, which doesn't bother me, it just kinda hurts because she pretty much guilt-tripped me into being interested in them too, despite physically hitting me a few years ago whenever I talked about my interests too much. I could probably go into more detail and provide specific scenarios from times from about third grade to our freshman year, which is where we are now, but I won't. 

Update:

I should also add that I've offered to be there for her on many occasions, yet she calls my mental health issues pathetic and seems to be more willing to help random strangers than me. 

2 Answers

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  • Chanel
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    She is not positive in your life. Better to be alone than with a person who annoys you.

    As for mental health, I have known professional people have breakdowns and there are thousands of people all over the world who are depressed or suffer from acute anxiety. There is nothing wrong with having mental health issues.

    You are not pathetic. It is just when your mood is low people like her who do not suffer from mental health problems just do not understand.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Sounds to me like you are out-growing both her and this old relationship.  Friendships grow and change over time.  Sometimes they get better and stronger while other times they just fade away.  I think your relationship with this 'friend' is on the fade isn't it.  She's starting to annoy you.  When you are younger and less confident with yourself you tend to put up with this sort of stuff, but you are getting to the age when you need a wider circle of friends so you can just let this one fade out and let her become a friendly acquaintance who you see occasionally.  You feel that it's become very one-sided and this is because you've allowed it to be so.  She doesn't appear to have any boundaries where you are concerned and, quite rightly, this is annoying you.  You are maturing quicker than she is and her behaviour seems childish to you.  I suggest you be friendly towards loads of other people and make conversation with them.  Out of this new and wider circle you may well find someone else who can take this present girl's place.  Don't just drop her - just don't be so available to her all the time.  If she doesn't like it.....tough.  That's HER problem.....not yours.  Time to stop being a gruesome-twosome with just her.  Get yourself loads of other friends and acquaintances so you'll never be at a loose end.  Good luck

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