I find myself feeling envious of other women who are not only beautiful, but have a lot of friends. What can I do?
I think I feel this way as a woman in her mid 20s because I've always had issues with fitting in and my own looks since I was 11. I was bullied mercilessly in middle school and the other girls hated me in middle school for being weird and the guys hated me for being ugly.
While college wasn't as terrible, a select few women still hated me for certain reasons and my social skills made me a target of hate and gossip.
I remember triying and failing to fit in with some women at one dance studio. I thought that because I changed how I looked and if I improved my environment (& social skills), that things would work out for me. Well it didn't. Only two of the girls didn't like me for their own reasons.
When it comes to certain beautiful women with lots of friends..I see them and I ask: "what do people see in them that they don't see in me?" and "what is it that she has that I can't give people??
So the last decision I made was to distance myself from people I went to school/college with for my own good...to start all over. I am still hurt from all my failed friendships and attempts at fitting in.
I don't even care that I am doing better than a lot of the kids who picked on me in middle/high school. I would sell my soul to the devil to fit in with people so I can be happy and stop being unhappy.
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