Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 month ago

Is 10 years a big age difference between a 19 years old and a 29 years old?

My boyfriend is 29, he is my first boyfriend and we got together after a long discussion, he didn't want to be my boyfriend due to our age difference, he always said I should have found a guy of my age and be happy with him,not someone as 'old' as him. But I did fall for him at first sight, he is everything I have always dreamt of and never had, he gave me love and protection when I never had anything. He is my first love and first best friend,brother, maybe future husband. To me he is so good looking but he himswlf says he will get older faster than me and that I would look for someone younger (I won't). At first he even had difficulty kissing me because of the sense of guilt he felt. When I am with my female friends they always say he is weird and different cause he is a sailor, he has a different personality in comparison to guys my age he is more mature, makes other type of jokes, winks at me and makes me feel like a little girl again, and looks as if he came from another time. They always ask how did you fall for him, I always say that he is my prince charming. Yet I am happy he is somehow older than me because he can protect me and love me.

11 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 month ago

    yes, it's weird. maybe not for you but most people his age (29) are almost 30. It's where you're no longer in your 20s. The things you do in your 20s aren't accepted in your 30s. 20's is the decade for making your mistakes. After that, it's not cute. You're about to be in your 20's so anything people do at any age won't matter much to you because you accept it within yourself. But for him, your 30s is typically when you start to settle down in your life. Most "normal" people his age have kids and are married and have their careers established and are buying a home. Their 20s are past them, behind them, left behind because they have no other choice. You haven't even started your 20s, and the things you're going to be experiencing for the 1st time, it's going to be weird for him to re-experience them with someone who never has. It's going to look weird or feel weird or inappropriate. Hope this helps

  • 1 month ago

    It is at your age but it could still work.  

  • Zirp
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Depends on how much "experience" he has.

    You're still on the wrong side of the "half his age plus seven" -line though

  • Lili
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The writing in this "question" is so poor, and some of the statements so ridiculous, that I suspect it's a troll post, but for the sake of other people who might be taking it seriously, I'll answer it seriously:

    Yes, take it from a college professor who teaches both undergraduates and graduate students: 19-year-olds are just late adolescents, no matter what the law says. Their brains are not yet fully developed. and they are quite immature.

    29-year-olds, however, are fully mature adults. They are also about half a generation older than a 19-year-old and have had entirely different life and cultural experiences.

    That's not to say that such a relationship can't work, but it has less of a chance of doing so than one between closer age peers and one that was formed when the younger partner was older, more advanced in life.

    Moreover, your description suggests that you really ARE very immature, and that is an extremely poor foundation for a relationship. You shouldn't WANT to feel like a "little girl".  You should want to feel like a woman, a mature partner to your man.

    The chances of a relationship like this lasting are not particularly good.

    Either grow up or stop trolling.  

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    At 19, yes. Sorry kid but you don't have the life experience to understand he's taking advantage of you.  39/49 would be different.

  • 1 month ago

    What nobody seems to consider is the difference in your life experiences.  If you were 29 and he were 39, the 10 years wouldn't matter as much because you would both have had similar responsibilities and life experiences.

    He has likely bought or rented a home, likely had to cook and do home maintenance, bought a car, had to budget his money and make tough decisions regarding where the money goes, and in many other ways borne adult responsibilities.

    God bless you that you feel you have met your Prince Charming.  Maybe it will work out.  But I see a lot of taking in your post and not so much giving.  He is the one with all the burdens, but over time he will expect you to share many of those burdens.  That's when  the fairy tale becomes the story of your life.

  • Bill
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Sounds like he is insecure and doesn't trust women enough for a long term relationship. Large age differences are a hurdle to deal with, but not an impossible one or a reason to not pursue a relationship.  

    @Foofa: You don't need a fully mature brain to form a lasting relationship, you weirdo. 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It's not really your age difference but rather your age that could be an issue. If you were 30 and he was 40 this wouldn't even be a thing. It's that he's a grown adult with a fully developed brain and you're still a teenager with some years to go before you gain that level of intellectual and emotional maturity. The fact that you speak of him in such dramatic tone is part of that emotional immaturity. But as long as you don't get married or pregnant it's not such a tragedy to just enjoy this relationship while it lasts. 

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Since he is your first boyfriend, you really have nothing to compare him to. Be very careful that you aren't just in love with the idea of having someone instead of really caring for him.  You really haven't started your life yet and need to finish your education and find a job.

  • 1 month ago

    No, it's not big or small. It's just 10 years. 

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.