Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

Partner saying he wants to pretend r a p e me as role play? is this messed up..?

We have an amazing sex life however he keeps portraying his interest of pretending to force me and having me fight back and scream and tying me up, idk if this is a normal fetish or if i should be concerned? i’m not necessarily bothered and would do it if he enjoys it but i’m not sure if there’s a psychological deeper messed up reason behind it or if i’m over thinking it

4 Answers

  • Nat
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    That's a relatively normal fetish. If he's safe and a good boyfriend I wouldn't say this is a problem. 

  • 1 month ago

    I don't believe these things are "games." He wants to rape and get away with it. One day he will go too far.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    On the one hand this is a fairly common fantasy that many couples enjoy role playing because an integral part of the fantasy is that the rapee is enjoying it.  This can only come from a place of emotional safety and real, underlying respect.  On the other hand some people really do get off on hurting their sex partner and taking out their deep, underlying frustrations on them.  Which way do you think this can go in your case?

    I'm not averse to a little role play.  Play it by ear and don't forget that consent can be withdrawn.  I don't just mean talk about it beforehand and decide on a safe word, though obviously do that, but also if you do play along and you decide that you didn't like it after all you're not obliged to do it again just because you've agreed in the past.  In a relationship past in the early years a bit of bondage was great fun - but as the years rolled on something underlying dark and angry began to creep into my ex and he wasn't playing anymore - so I unilaterally ended our sex life and soon thereafter our relationship.  In hindsight there was a point earlier where I should've called things off when the boundary pishing started because that's about a lack of respect.  Go with your gut feeling.  Sex can throw up all kinds of deep emotions.  You have to be emotionally safe.

  • 1 month ago

    Don't get tied up at all.  Forget that.  Also, make a safe word.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.