Is it okay to move in with my boyfriend within 4 months?
I’m 19 and he’s 23, he has a kid (which I love) and an ex wife. We’ve been talking about finding an apartment together and moving in. We’re financially ready and responsible, but is it too much too soon? We do the occasional sleep overs and he was living in my house for over a month. But should we move in together some place else?
- James W.Lv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
Please please no - this is way too soon. Four months is not anywhere long enough to find out what he's really like - you haven't had a chance to observe his behavior in all type of situations. Pay special attention to how he reacts when things go wrong or he doesn't get his way. Here's some information from the book True Love Lasts"
Question: Is living together a good choice?
The number of unmarried couples living together has skyrocketed during the past few decades. Many of these couples think that living together isn’t a problem because “pretty much everyone is doing it.” It’s now unusual to attend a wedding of a couple who hasn’t lived together.
I’ve heard lots of reasons why people live together including, “He’s not ready to make a commitment”, “We want to be sure that we’re compatible”, “Two can live almost as cheaply as one, it’s helping us to save up for a house”, “We want to work for a few years before we get married”, “We’re going to get married eventually, we’re just not sure when”, etc.
My opinion is that living together is a bad choice - no matter how many people are doing it. Most research shows that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to:
- eventually get divorced than couples who don’t
- be unhappy in their marriage than couples who don’t
- cheat on their wife/husband than couples who don’t
If your significant other wants to live with you before marriage, it’s a sign that he or she may not be a strong person* because a strong person always tries to make a good choice, a choice that’s the best thing for the health of the relationship in the long run - and this includes the hard choice of deciding not to live together.
*A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money). This is the type of person to look for if you want to avoid a broken heart.
Hope this helps!Source(s): The book True Love Lasts
- 2 months ago
If you're excited when he cums inside you then go for it. But keep a place you can go to for space a couple days a week while you guys transition.. may as well get pregnant too if you're comfortable living together.. **** it make babies have sex swallow the load and cook breakfast in bed.. skip work too life is short and mostly bullshit if doesn't involve bodily fluids, travel, art or pain..
- Anonymous2 months ago
Nope, but the fact he's got a kid is a deal breaker. He's a total loser.
- Anonymous2 months ago
No it is never ok.
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- 2 months ago
The real question is: do YOU think it's okay?
- RED-CHROMELv 62 months ago
It is OK to move in with your boy-friend but... not yet. Give it another 5 or 6 months
- TjLv 72 months ago
To soon for that.
- yLv 72 months ago
Wait a year, see what happens, wait a year in all relationships, get through that Honeymoon phase to the point where one must start to work at it. He has a kid and failed once.
- rustbucketLv 72 months ago
As long as you don't have sex it will be fine.
- Coach SimonLv 72 months ago
At nineteen you are still really learning about your adult self. Twelve weeks really is not enough to get to know someone, especially while you are still finding yourself. If you do decide to move in with him, do try not to get over involved with his child emotionally, because your relationship may well go the same way as his previous one (why did it?! You only have his version). I am not suggesting that you expect your relationship to fail - you need to be positive and optimistic - we don't expect to have a car crash either. But we still insure against that!