Anonymous

Am I being gaslighted? ?

I'm a girl (18) and living with my parents until I can move out for college, my friend calls me at around 1AM (F) and says she's having a mental breakdown and wants to talk face to face in a parking lot. I ask my parents and they say no, and I obviously get upset becasue I don't want my friend to d*e. My mom comes down and shes upset. She says, "I'm really dissapointed in you, I cant believe you'd choose your friends over your family. Just tell them to call 911, I can't believe you got upset over us saying no"  My mom has done some pretty bad gaslighting to me in the past, but I was just wondering if anyone had an opinion on this, if i was in the wrong or in the right, morally of course. Thanks!

Update:

* this is a parking lot outside of my apartment facility

** family friend who my mom knows and trusts 

*** if you’re going to be a condescending prick please don’t answer 

3 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    No, it's not gaslighting. She may be trying to send you on a little guilt trip, but she's not gaslighting. Look it up. Your friend, however, is manipulating you big time. If she's in such dire straits that she might die, she needs professional help, not you. Give her the number of a crisis hotline next time.

  • 3 weeks ago

    i would  NEVER  let my 18 year old child  leave the house and go to a parking lot at 1 am. i wouldn't care whether her friend lives or dies, what is more important is the safety of my own child. your mom was 100% right - u could call 911 and she could talk to professional, how would u help her, u re a child yourself. or she could talk to her own parents. and u obviously do not know what gaslighting is. what happened to u was certainly not

  • 3 weeks ago

    Are you genuinely surprised your mother didnt want her 18 year old daughter going to meet someone in a  parking lot at 1am?

    She now knows she hasnt managed to raise a sensible child, ready to go to college and worries about your priorities in life and your safety.

    IF and I cannot stress how HUGE that if is, IF you were genuinely concerned your friend was going to kill themself, the sensible and moral (since you asked about morals) thing to do would be to contact the relevant authorities and his family, both MUCH more qualified to help him than you are.

    A high school diploma doesnt make you qualified to deal with mental health issues over someone with a PhD.

    You have an INCREDIBLE amount of growing up to do,instead of throwing about buzzwords like gaslighting, THINK, reason, rationalise, instead of throwing tantrums and sulking

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