Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Why hes pulling back? Should I tell him how I feel?

We ( mid 30s)have been hooking up for 3-4 months now . We have great sex and spend great times together, he’s cook dinner, and he even offered once to watch a movie and go visit his friend with him I said sounds good but never follow up with him in that . Between our hook ups he always texted first asking how are you and sharing how’s his day going. 

We know each for a while .he always liked me but he always said to our mutual friends that he doesn’t stand a chance with a girl like me so I initiated a hook up . 

I did told him once that he doesn’t know what he wants in life kind of implying he’s not the one I’d date.

A week ago we went to a party together and he introduced me to all the people , but he’s been pulling back lately and texts less and don’t get why.

A few days ago I texted him saying that I have a day off and I’d love to spend it with him he said that he’d love too but unfortunately he has to work and didn’t suggest a new date .. I’ve developed feelings and I want to spend more time together and try being more. Should I tell him I like him?

I prefer to do it in person rather then via text but I’m not sure when we will meet again ...

My birthday is coming up and when he texts me happy birthday I was thinking to text back this : 

“ Thanks ! Miss you , let’s celebrate my birthday together , have a few drinks and watch the sunset ☺️”.

Should I?

10 Answers

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Sure, why not?  Maybe its time to have a serious talk and find out each other thoughts and directions as to where this is going or should you part ways.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago


    Sounds to me as if you both are laggîng 

    åbout 20ys in the maturity dept & so mîghť

    bė bėśť to go your own way's through thîś

    life, yo !


  • 1 month ago

    He may of found someone else,dont keep texting him, if you like to talk about it let me know? 

  • 1 month ago

    Only if you're sure that you wanna date him because you implied that you wouldn't date him now you're saying you wanna try and be more than that. I think you need to think about whether you feel that way because you're getting attached and you're used to being around him or are you just settling?? because it sounds like in the beginning you didn't wanna be with him and now you do i think maybe its going backwards. Maybe he doesn't wanna date you and now you wanna date him you guys might be on two different pages. But i could be wrong. He would be the better person to ask and you know him better than we do. Hope this helps and good luck when you talk to him.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    He doesn't like you and he doesn't find you attractive.

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You quickly provided sex.   He enjoyed it.

    Now he may well be looking elsewhere

  • 1 month ago

    maybe he doesn't know that you want more, yes absolutely send him that text. Show you're interested, look for him. 

  • A X
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    "I did told him once that he doesn’t know what he wants in life kind of implying he’s not the one I’d date."

    If that's really the impression he got, have you done anything to correct it as your feelings have changed. If not, I'd start with correcting that old impression... and asking in a way that doesn't involve pressure which direction he wants the relationship to go.

  • 1 month ago

    When you find someone attractive and you develop interest in them, keep in mind that others do too.  

    If they move/speak up before you do... your chances get thinner.

    What do YOU THINK, you should do?

  • 1 month ago

    Nothing wrong with your "birthday text" but I don't understand needing to wait to ask him what's going on.

    Its possible that this last week he really has been busy, you have no idea what is going on with him so stop assuming, don't make up scripts in your head, just ask.

    It could be something along the lines of..."Hey (insert name), I feel like you've been pulling back, is everything ok?".  Whatever works for you, its not that hard and any healthy relationship requires open honest communication.

    Btw, you've been sleeping with him, enjoying each others' company, you don't have to tell him you like him.  That's stating the obvious.

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