Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 2 months ago

Should she have a role in our big day?

I’m 25 and my fiancé is 28. We have been together for 4 years and just got engaged the beginning of this year.

I come from a bigger welcoming family. I also have 3 younger sisters who I know are my bridesmaids and my fiancé gets along with my 2 brothers great where he had asked them to be groom.  

On the other hand, my fiancé’s side is extremely small and quiet.  He doesn’t have a father, or any grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins etc so his immediate family is only his single mother,(60) and younger brother who’s my age, and his sister. Who’s the baby of the family and I have had to cut off from my personal life. For years, she has made it known how much she doesn’t like me. How I’ve ruined her family and how nobody wants me around. She’s made rumors about me for years, excludes me anyway she can. I have continued to always smile and bring gifts for holidays, yet I’ve never truly been welcomed or even addressed by my first name. It’s horrible. My fiancé has stood up for me but it just makes matters worse and more of a reason for her to make my fiancé feel bad because he chooses me over “his blood”

Their mother has always been kind to me and she wants everyone to make up, yet she doesn’t know everything her daughter has done behind the scenes for me to not want to come around anymore. All of our siblings are included in our wedding but her. It’s going to be extremely obvious she isn’t included when everyone gets fitted. Where should I place her?

She’s burned a huge bridge. 

3 Answers

  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    No I wouldn’t include her, as long as you and your groom are on the same page with this.  She has made it clear she doesn’t like you, so why would she want to be in the wedding party. You clearly don’t like her and are wary of her actions. 

    Send her a wedding invitation. The groom can tell his sister direct he looks forward to having all of his siblings  there to celebrate his wedding day. 

    He can tell his mother he thought it best to let her be a guest since it is clear of her feeling towards you and him as a couple. 

  • 1 month ago

    You and the groom sit the mom and wicked sister down while he does all the talking. It need not be a long laundry list reciting the sister''s evil ways, but something simple, short and sweet....

    The groom simply states ~"It is no secret that sister disposes my wife to be  therefore she is not welcomed to be chosen to participate in our wedding party alongside those who support us". Then  you both get up and leave the premises after politely saying goodbye. Do not stay to debate or discuss it. Done deal. Now  please do something about this problem or stop complaining about it.

  • 2 months ago

    No.  I'm sure she wouldn't want a "role" and to give her one would be hypocritical.  She knows very well why she's not being included.  And don't be surprised if she sends word with her mother that she wasn't able to attend the wedding because of illness.  

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