Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 month ago

Am I an incel?

I don't fully understand this fairly new term but it seems to be an insult

I have not been able to get a girlfriend for the last ten years and I was in the grip of my alcoholism that whole time and was either passed out drunk at the bars or drunkenly making a cool of myself in front of the girl I liked

I am now a year sober and still get rather anxious and shy when I meet new people and retreat into myself and become rather standoffish which I guess would make me look uninterested

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  • 1 month ago

    "involuntarily celibate", a person (usually male) who has a horrible personality and treats women like sexual objects and thinks his lack of a sex life comes from being "ugly" when its really just his blatant sexism and terrible attitude. 

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  • Zirp
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    No. Self-identifying incels completely blame the women for it. You are smart enough to understand that your alcoholism and shyness are to blame

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You're not an incel. Incel is a mindset and a behavior, not just being single when you'd rather not be. If you're not blaming others for your problems and not wishing horrible things to happen to strangers you're probably not an incel. What you are is someone who's followed the medical advice for those recovering from addiction. Every program in the world says to not date at all until you're at least 12 months sober. Now that you've reached that milestone (congrats!) you can slowly put yourself back out there and you'll surely find someone.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    It means someone who is celibate but doesn't want to be. I think you should just worry about staying sober at this point. Congrats on being a year sober - I'm almost a year sober myself and it's an accomplishment.

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