25 year old mom never had a “real” job ?

I’m 25 and had my first child when I was 18. I’ve been a stay at home mom since as my ex made enough for me to stay home with our child and live very comfortably. I am 4 months pregnant and just left my ex as he became extremely physically  abusive, breaking my nose and two ribs. but now I am left with NOTHING and NO job “real” job experience. However I did not just stay home and do nothing, I worked for his car sales company under the table and was a learning coach for our son through k12 online public schools. I am now living at my moms with our son. My ex took my vehicle (he is listed as the lien holder on the title so I couldn’t leave him and take it)  but I am able to use my mom vehicle in the mean time until I can afford a vehicle. 

I am having a horrible time trying to find a job. I don’t have a resume, or job experience to list. I have personal references but no professional because I worked for my ex who I can’t use as a reference.  We never got married so I don’t have any ownership to his houses. I know I’m a fool for allowing my life to get this way but I guess I let his abuse control my life for so long i let everything in my life get caught up in his. 

I have no idea what to do. Is there any advice on how to get a job with no experience at 25? I can work hard I just am so embarrassed and don’t know how to not look like a fool if I do get an interview. 

I don’t want to be stuck at my moms in one bedroom with my son and a newborn. 

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You actually DO have experience--as you stated, you worked for the public school as a learning coach and you worked for your ex's car sales company. That can ALL be translated to a resume. You start by listing the job duties for the car sales company--what you did. If you filed, answered phones, typed contracts, did scheduling--whatever it was--you just state in very plain and direct language what you actually did. Then you do the same thing for the learning coach job. 

    It does not matter if you were paid or unpaid for these duties. (Think: unpaid internship! It's done only for experience, and it all counts!) 

    Now to do the resume:  you will put your name and contact information at the top. You will put the schooling you've had under that. Then you will list the month and year you worked for the first job, and the duties you did. Then you do the same for the learning coach job. 

    You do NOT have to list a salary, OR references--instead, you state "references upon request."  When it comes to contact information--you can put that you are not able to give that for the car sales job, but you should list something for the learning coach job, if you can. A supervisor? A person who oversaw your duties or job? or a teacher who can vouch for your experience? Anyone who worked with you or supervised you can give you a reference. 

    You don't need anything else on a resume. Your name, your contact info, your job duties and your schooling. That's all. A resume is only to CONTACT an employer with--it's not meant to explain your life or situation. 

    The trickier part is the interview. You can apply for entry-level jobs with this resume. And if you get an interview for one, you will need to explain that you have been a full-time mother who was in an abusive relationship and who has broken free of it and wants to support herself. You don't need to get emotional or detailed. It says more than enough to simply state your situation. Yes, you have a vehicle. Yes, you will work hard. Yes, you have had some experience working, but not a lot. Yes, you have references, but not from the abusive ex. They will understand that without you having to provide detailed reasons. 

    It might take a little while, but don't look at your life as a mess--look at it like it was a very important learning experience that you HAVE learned from You're ready to work now, and you're ready to give a better life a try. 

    I worked in HR for 31 years. I know what I'm talking about. You have a lot going for you--I applaud you for breaking out of that relationship--but it wasn't all trash--so salvage what you can and use it! I think you will make it. I sense a lot of determination and guts in your question--and I think you will be surprised at how far you can get!!And please don't read through those mean, smallminded answers below. They are horrible. 

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    • Mary1 month agoReport

      That's great news Savannah. I wish you well in life and never go back to that ex.....Peace and Love xxx

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    first 

    put the newborn up for adoption

    you say you know you made foolish mistake do not make another and keeping this child

    My daughter was in much the same place a year ago

    no education no on the job time 

    now after giving up excuses and whining she moved from making sandwiches at a grocery store deli to catering to catering manager to store assistant manager. 

    the big problem is most people looking for jobs are not hire-able not trainable and live life by the excuses,,, my daughter did until she was 36 years of age and decided to just stop whining and start to work hard... 

    several times she admitted she never realize how hard real jobs real work was until she really just did it 

    if you keep the child it is your choice no one else's so do not make that your new excuse -- never let words come out of your mouth blaming others

    FYI life is hard for everyone and making bad excuses just makes it worse never makes it better 

    -------------

    example  

    " just left my ex as he became extremely physically abusive, " 

    no one just becomes abusive ,, you either lie and he always was but the money was there and easy life or you began to be abusive to him and he reacted and you are not telling us the fact you started the problems and could not deal with the results  -- EXCUSE 

    just drop that story move on and get responsible 

    what were you thinking when you decided to get pregnant AGAIN in such a bad situation?  -- this is a question for you to answer to your self not us 

    as long as you live in the world of excuse and look for pity;;;;; your life will be bad .. no one will come into your life and save you (they cannot save you from your self) 

    FYI more education is another excuse,  while there is no problem with more knowledge ,, you are not in a position to take that time off of life to go to school 

    AND a college degree is not the magic answer so many people tell you it is 

    one part of education I recommend is take a Dave Ramsey class , this will help a lot and is only 9 days one day a week at night - he covers lots of money management skills and also covers your exact place in life -- I am a atheist and still love the class 

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  • 2 months ago

    You do have job experience to list. Make a resume, and list the work you did at the car sales business.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Unfortunately without having a college, or university education then I think you are screwed. You might be able to find, and get a job if you have a lot of working experience, but since you don't have a lot of working experience then the only other thing you can rely on is your level of education.

    I assume you don't have any good connections. I think finding good connections is difficult to do, but, for other people this may easy to do. I assume you don't have a higher education, and a lot of working experience. I suggest you try to work on getting a higher education, and then you look, for good connections, so you can get work.

    You didn't say anything about graduating from college, or university, or even being self taught at this level.

    Sometimes the choices we make in life can be good, or bad. I made good, and bad choices, and so did you!

    Regarding myself I don't have a wife, or girlfriend, or kids. I have a college education, and I am self taught as well. I am self employed, and I am saving my money, for a home. As you can see based on what I said to you I am working on myself, and my future.

    I am a male by the way.

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  • 2 months ago

    You ARE going to be stuck at your mom's in one bedroom, with your son and a newborn, because that is what you created for yourself.  If you do not have a degree or certification of some sort, then all you can expect is a minimum wage job and that will not allow you to support yourself independently, let alone with two children.  File for child support - immediately.  I hope you have money to do that.  You may have to borrow $ from your mother.  Be thankful that she is supporting you and your two kids.  Many mothers would not compromise their own lives for a 25 year old that made very bad choices in life.  If its a fetus, under 3 months old, consider an abortion.  You don't need another child from that guy, with you job, no job experience, no education.  Your best bet would be to work full time - nobody will hire you pregnant.  If you must have the child, after a couple of months, get a job.  Full time.  Go to school in the evenings, online if you can find something that you like that is online.  If not, take the bus to school & home.  Forget a car.  You are dreaming, and the other car - it was not yours.  If it was, it would be in your name, having purchased it yourself.

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  • 2 months ago

    Apply for child support. Your work situation is dicey because the only work you did, you worked under the table (thus cheating the government out of taxes, so your honesty may be questioned) You may want to consider leaving that out. 

    You're best bet is retail or fast food. sadly. On the flip side, if you're reliable and good about showing up on time, you may work up to shift manager rather quickly. You don't have to stay there, but if you can stand it, now you have some supervisory experience.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Fastfood,retail /grocery stores and pizza delivery hire inexperienced people. 

    You should consider adoption for the unborn baby .

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    The first thing I would do is consider terminating the pregnancy.

    An "extremely physically abusive" father and a mother with no education or job skills is not a good combo.

    "I don’t want to be stuck at my moms in one bedroom"   Be glad you have that option.

    Who is going to raise this infant while you are busy working?

    Figure out how to support yourself and the child you already have before you add another child. 

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I don’t know what kinds of jobs you are applying for, but you have to treat your situation as if you were 18 with no work experience and apply for those types of jobs. Think retail, food service, entry level type work. Yes, your situation is really difficult for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that you have no provable work experience. So regardless of what you think you need to make or would be able to do, you need to focus on what you are actually qualified to do.

    Get yourself to court and get a child support order put in place now, then update your filing once your second child is born. While living with your mother might not feel ideal, it might be best for a while, at least until after the baby comes and you are recovered enough to go back to work. As long as she isn’t pushing you out, stay there, heal physically and mentally, get yourself on your feet, and save up a little money. You may not know how horribly expensive child care is, since you’ve never needed it before, but especially for two children (one an infant) it could easily cost you $400/week. 

    You could also consider connecting with a temp agency. There are a number that provide labor resources for manufacturing facilities. The work isn’t particularly fun or exciting, but they are usually pretty easy to get hired with and you can start working right away. Your pregnancy may become an issue as well, so a staffing agency might be a good choice there as well. Even if you got hired tomorrow at a full time job you won’t be  able to qualify for FMLA when the baby is born (you have to work at least 12 months), so any time off an employer gives would be entirely at their discretion. With the temp agency you can work, take some time off and then come back generally without an issue.

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  • 2 months ago

    What a terrible situation.  As you say, lots of mistakes but life will be better for all of you going forwards.  The one thing you must do right now is apply for child support from him asap.  You also need to speak to a lawyer about whether there is anything else you can claim.  Your nearest women's shelter will have pro-bono lawyers who can help you.  I hope you filed a police report.

    Once you know where you stand financially, you will need to consider what kind of work you can do or whether you need to find a way to get back into education.  Don't hurry to leave.  That is what mothers are for.  In any case nobody is going to hire someone who is pregnant.  This is all going to need time.

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