Honest question about sex after baby?

How to get over this sexual hurdle:

Ok I’ll keep it brief.

Partner doesn’t like the feeling of latex so prefers pull-out method where you pull out last second after climax

We did this until ultimately we had an unplanned pregnancy but we changed our lives to face the reality

After that I (the male) became very hesitant about

Update:

Sex with partner due to partner is adamant does not want contraceptive use and we are absolutely not ready for another baby on the way at all

13 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Just tell him CHILD SUPPORT costs a lot more than a condom does for the next 21 years and see how fast he changes his mind.. Also take the pill etc, and condoms have been known to break and or leak.. Mention CHILD SUPPORT each time he wants to fuucck you.

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  • Happy
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Only used a condom once in 50 years. Hated it. Ended up with 3 abortions and a few kids. My estimate is that the pull out is about 75/80% effective. But it is fun to aim the dna. I have gone from the pube area, past the face and into the hair once (younger years of course)

    • ...Show all comments
    • Happy
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      My opinion is that everything is exciting about sex. If that doesn’t excite you, you probably don’t like your partner or sex very much. Only my opinion though 

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    The physiological reality is that if neither of you is willing to use birth control and you want a surefire way to avoid pregnancy you're going to have to abstain from penetrative vaginal sex, period. You can be intimate in other ways or you can grow up and recognize that human sexuality is designed for procreation. If your female partner is refusing even barrier methods that don't mess with the body's hormones (diaphragm,cervical cap, et al) you may also need to accept that she kinda sorta wants a second baby. 

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Pull out method is the least reliable.  Your pre-*** has sperm in it.  If your partner refuses to use any kind of BC, then you can't have sex.  Sorry but unless someone or both are using BC you will either get her pregnant or you will have to live w/o sex.  You need to sit down and have a serious conversation with her GYN and the options.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Pull out never works in the long run, but you know that already.  If we give your partner the benefit of the doubt that she's not accidentally on purpose trying to get pregnant quickly again she may have had bad experiences in the past that have lead to some irrational views on contraception.  I wouldn't bully her into taking something that alters her body.  She has to want it for herself.  That leaves you with three options: refuse penetrative sex until she agrees to a long term contraceptive plan, refuse penetrative sex without spermicidal condoms, vasectomy.

    However, this is such a fundamental problem that it can't just be left unresolved if this relationship is to last.  Withdrawal only is so insane that there has to be something that's messed up her thinking.  Offer to go to couple's counselling (look for a sex therapist) because feelings around sex can get weird fast so it's good to have an uninvolved referee in the room, not to mention doing that kind of talking in a neutral space away from home.  Don't be too surprised if this throws up some stuff your partner may need some private one-to-one therapy for.

    A word of red alert warning.  I'm sure that with a little baby on the scene you've really been missing sex.  Be very careful.  When fertility first comes back after birth it is very, very potent for the first few months.  Around half of women who have abortions in developed countries are women with a young baby who can't managed two births in the space of a year.  I know you implied strongly that you were both against abortion, but think very hard about what having two babies spaced so close would do to both your lives and to your child's.  Do not be tempted by offers of sex on the condition of withdrawal only!

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  • alan P
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    She could use the pill or other hormonal methods, get a copper IUD or you could have a vasectomy although it sounds a bit too early for that.  You need to have a serious discussion about this.  Perhaps you could agree that for now she will take the pill or similar method perhaps with spermicide as a second line of defense and then when you have had all the children you want you promise to have vasectomy.

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  • 2 months ago

    If you're breastfeeding you might not get pregnant.

    • Edna
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      Breast-feeding will NOT prevent pregnancy.

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  • 2 months ago

    I think it is so ridiculous when people say they don't like the feel of condoms or latex, because if you really wanted it you would get some while using protection. The only legitimate reason is if your allergic to latex. There are also condoms that are really thin, you should try that. You can also look into contraception to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. If you feel uncomfortable to proceed with unprotected sex then let that be known.

    • alan P
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      If some people don't like to use condoms and prefer another method of another method of contraception what's wrong with that?  In the long run condoms are only moderately effective at stopping pregnancy and are not needed for protection against infection in a stable relationship

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  • 2 months ago

    Sounds like she wants a lot of kids.  I hope you like paying child support, if not get a vasectomy.  

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  • Lili
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    There are birth control methods other than condoms, dear.  If she doesn't like condoms, she can go on the pill or an implant or get an IUD.  You should both be tested for STDs before you stop using condoms.

    The withdrawal or "pull-out" method often results in pregnancy.  However, if you insist on using it, you pull out just BEFORE climax, not after it.  The reason it doesn't work is that some semen, containing sperm, can leak from the penis before climax.

    Edit: If she doesn't want to use contraception, break off the relationship. She is both stupid and irresponsible.

    • seedy history
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      If she wants to have sex but not a child and refuses to use a birth control method that WORKS... yep! break up. She's not a person who thinks clearly. That'll follow in many other ways as well. Or she's lying. That'll follow in other ways too. 

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