Am I legally required to continue to be the caregiver or can I leave?

Long story short. I was tricked into caregiver for grandma and I cannot do it anymore.I have been doing it for almost a year. She lies and tries to set me up where I can into legal trouble. She makes herself fall when she can walk and she keeps me up all night on purpose. Family doesn't want to help but only judge. It is messing with my health physically and mentally.  I feel weak and dizzy all the time. I am depressed and anxiety. The problem is no one wants to help and deal with her and tell me I can't just leave her and she can't live alone. She refuses nursing home and I don't know what to do but I need to leave before she is successful in setting me up like the time she made herself fell on purpose and tried to tell EMS that it was my fault but it was on video


It's because they don't want to deal with her and know she is hard. I wasn't supposed to be the main caregiver. I was asked to move in to keep her company only and say I can come and go as I please then she had to go to the hospital right before I moved and was promised the whole thing is not my responsibility then all of a sudden they tell me I need to the yard even though she had me up all night on purpose. They just come to visit and judge. Now I have to ask permission to leave for any reason

Update 2:

When I moved in it was only agreement that it was to keep her company and when she got sick they were supposed to hire a caregiver to help her then all of a sudden it was you need to do this and she wakes me up every 30 minutes 

Update 3:

I have been like house arrest for two weeks. It was fine with her by herself but she forced herself to fall and the family decided I cant leave because she can't be by herself and I could get negligence if I want to go see my friend 

Update 4:

She made herself fell again because she refuses to walk and wanted us to carry her but does not want to go to the hospital so walks good whenever EMS are here

Update 5:

She is in the hospital and cant walk and she might be released the same day even though she won't walk on her own and I am being volunteered to help her even though I am not strong enough 

Update 6:

Also ibam not getting paid at all. I am paying half the Bill's and treated like I have to since I am not paying rent

Update 7:

I left while she is in the hospital  because tried to accuse me of pushing her down  when she made herself fall but I am afraid to let them know since the family started to ignore my phone calls when they heard that she will possibly be released.  I broke down before saying I can't do it anymore 

27 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    you can leave, ya know...

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  • e9601:
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Get in touch with Social Service, explain the situation and tell them you are out of there. She belongs in some kind of home. It's not your job to be there.

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  • 1 month ago

    Its called PUT HER IN A NURSING HOME.. IF you do not have a legal court order putting you as her caregiver you have the right to leave if you want to and PUT HER IN A NURSING HOME..

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  • 1 month ago

    Write a letter to all of grandma''s children, brothers and sisters (same letter to all of them), and keep it short and sweet. State that you are giving notice that grandma''s home care needs have exceeded your capibilities and as of (place date and time here,two weeks into the future) you will no longer be available to be grandma's caregiver. Therefore, they will have to make other arrangements for grandma's care as you are unable to provide the care she needs and are moving out of her house. State that if there is no caregiver plan in place by that date, you will have no choice other than to call Social Services for help. Date the letter, sign it sincerely, and keep a copy. 

    Honestly, you were bamboozled into this. Now you realize that. But, no need to get into any details like you told us, because all of that can easily be lumped into one sentence "I am unable to provide the level of care that grandma needs". Just keep repeating that without going into detail's because once you say this and that, they will all debate how you can stay and handle her. It is not up for debate. You simply do not have what it takes to care for her needs. And, there is no fault or shame in that. You cannot provide the level of care that she needs and her children need notice of that fact so they can make other plans for grandma''s care.

    Please do not feel guilty. There is no guilt or blame here....other  than to blame those who are using emotional blackmail to use you for their own selfish needs. Possibly in an attempt to avoid putting her in a nursing home to avoid her estate (their inheritance) from going to a nursing home.  

    This is tatimount to elder abuse. Your grandma needs professional assistance and trust me, matters only get worse and worse over the course of time. Maybe they are hoping she will die at home in order to get their hands on her estate. I hate to think or say that, but her family is so callous and it is painfully obviously that they do not care about well being.

    Either write the letter giving notice to her children or call Social Services and let them deal with it.

    EDIT: stop with the updates already. You are being USED to care for her for free AND pay half her bills? Call the hospital and state that no one is going to be home to care for her. LEAVE NOW. I am suspecting you are a troll now.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Schedule a family meeting to discuss the need to either hire a live in nurse or place Gran into a nursing home.

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  • Tavy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Legally no, you are not employed. Grandmas family will have to take over.

    Pack your bags and send a message saying you have Left or are leaving.

    It's not your job, you can go.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Once you volunteer to do something you are legally required to keep doing so for life.

  • geezer
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    To answer your question.

    No .. you are not LEGALLY required to be your grandmothers's carer.

    Get in touch with Social Services and explain the situation to them.

    Which is ..

    ''I am caring for my grandmother on my own, my family won't help, and I CANNOT COPE'' .. and don't give into any EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL either !

    If she refuses to go into a nursing home then she needs to appreciate you more

    because she will HAVE TO go into a nursing home if you walk.

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  • 1 month ago

    you are not legally required to provide care for your grandmother. nor is anyone else, including her own children. Tell your parent [grandma's child] that you need to be out of this situation asap and set firm deadline ... whomever has power of attorney for grandmother can then decide what to do. would likely be best if you then move at least 1,000 miles away.

    Source(s): grampa
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  • Droopy
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Get ahold of a social work if no one helps you out.  If needed they will put here in nursing home.  That would suck for her but she made her bed an no one wants to help her .

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