Moving in together after high school?

My boyfriend and I have known each other since our sophomore year in high school and became really great friends before we started dating. We’ve both got steady jobs planned and have looked at a townhome we can afford and plan on getting married soon after moving in together. Are there any tips that could help us along the way? We’d appreciate any helpful suggestions anyone could think up! And from both of us, thank you so much for your help! I know some of you may suggest not moving in together before marriage or getting married first but this is a big decision that we’ve discussed together and for our situation we think it will work best. He’s enlisting in the military and will be fine for long periods of time while I’m pursuing the medical field. Thank you so much for any answers!

5 Answers

  • 8 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    If its meant to be give it time. Have a long engagement (since you are both so young) and find out who you are growing into. Him going off and you continuing studies means there will be a lot of changes in your lives. That may change you two as well.

    I m not saying it can't work. My son married the love of his life, his high school sweetheart (together at 14) and they are married over 10 years now and still very happy. But they also waited, had solid jobs, were going out, etc. to see if it was right for them too.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Play housewife I suppose..................

  • 8 months ago

    I have no objection to living together before marriage, I did it and we've been happily married for over 35 years now.  But if he's going to be in the military, you might be best off renting rather than buying, you didn't make your preference or plan clear on this point.  I assume you won't be able to afford to buy , in any case.   I'd actually suggest that you DO live together first, since you are both so young,you just might not wish to stay together as you mature and grow older.  You didn't say just what you plan to pursue in "the medical field",which might be relevant.  Feel free to write again with more details. Good luck,

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Planning steady jobs and having steady jobs are two different things. I got married in my late 20's after my Bachelors and Masters degrees.

    My sister got pregnant at 15, married at 16, has 4 children and they are happily married.

    It think it depends on the people.

    It is VERY difficult to be a Military wife.

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    You seem very open to all kinds of responses, so I'll give mine.  To be blunt, this is a terrible idea.  My objection has nothing to do with living together before marriage, so it's not a moral thing.  It's a practical one, because of what you're giving up. 

    You don't give your age, but I assume you're around 18 or 19? If so, you have another 6-7 decades to live a life where you're answerable to others.  Why not enjoy that short window of independent  young adulthood, where you're answerable to no one?  For most of us, these years (18-23 or 24) are incredibly fun. 

    Another practical aspect related to your ages is that there's a reason high school sweethearts rarely work out.  You will both be changing rapidly over the next 5 years as you grow into full adulthood.  What happens is that the dynamics that worked so well as teens dating each other stop working.  Heck, this is often true of college relationships.  Most of my friends and I were in very serious relationships.  Now, 11 years after graduation, not one couple is still together and only one was still intact 2 years after graduation.

    If you think you're the exception to the rule, then at least give this the best possible chance.  Regardless of ages, when people move in together too soon, it never ends well.  You might have a few fun months of "playing house", but then real life kicks in.  You don't have the mature communication skills yet to deal with financial conflicts, differences in how chores are done, etc.  Nobody at your ages has this yet.    So just enjoy what you have now and let the relationship continue at its own pace while you learn how to be an adult on your own!

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