Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 weeks ago

People say I'm stupid for not giving my boyfriend the gift of a child?

I should say I never I wanted more than 1 child. I grew up with 6 siblings, so from a young age, I never wanted a big family. My family have always said that I will change my mind blah blah blah. 

I also wanted a career, and didn't think I could focus on that as well as several children running around. I have seen friends with more than 2 children and have seen how stressed, and tired they are. Also the expense of my than 1 child could be a problem. 

I have a son from a previous relationship. He's 8 years old and his dad is still in his life. Me and his dad get along. We broke up because we didn't have that 'spark' anymore. We broke up when our son was 4 years old. He has a son with his new partner. 

I met 'Nick' when my son was 5. We got along great; we enjoyed the same things, similar jobs. It was great! He got along with my son, my ex and my family.

I told him from the beginning that I didn't want anymore kids, and he said it was fine because he didn't want children. 

As time go by  we have moved into together, gone on family trips, family holidays etc. 

The other week he told me that he has been thinking, and thinks it is the perfect time for a baby. I told him that never wanted another child. He screamed that I was selfish for not giving him the gift of a child'.

After that we broke up.

Whenever people why we broke and I tell them why all say that I am selfish for thinking about his needs.

Can someone explain how am I selfish for saying no to another child? 

Update:

My ex agrees with me and said I shouldn't feel guilty or pressured to having another child. Also my son has his half brother. 

9 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    Children are human beings, not "gifts". You've already messed up once and ended with a kid who doesn't have an intact family (because the "spark" was apparently more important than your kid's emotional health). You'd be positively criminal for pumping out a second kid with yet another guy you're not even married to. Just tell these "people" to mind their own business.

  • dman63
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You’re not selfish at all.  Having children is a personal decision, and if you don’t want another child that’s your business.  Nobody has the right to call you selfish for it.  “Nick” is the one being selfish for expecting you to bear and raise another child when you made it clear that you were satisfied with one and didn’t want any more.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    cause he cant have another child cause you dont want one

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Most men these days only want to try and over control those near them. Ones they decide to try and change.  I ever saw a film once where a bet was made that they could get  a person to do ______.  Yet the person kept their own wants and ways. The good one did Not bend to the others ones evils! 

    Stand up for yourself.

    Pray to GOD for more help and understanding! 

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  • Tj
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    A child becomes your responsibility, he will walk away in time. Be glad to get rid of him. It is your life, your decision, and no one lives your life. You made up your mind long ago, he was told about it. It is his problem. Tell people to F off, it is not their life.

  • 3 weeks ago

    You both agreed no kids a while back, so if he changed his mind, he did. I don't think that's a reason to scream. He sounds like a child himself.... if this is true, but i doubt it is

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Why do you care so much what other people think/say?

    I'd be angry with myself for wasting time on "Nick."

  • 3 weeks ago

    They are wrong..........

  • Linda
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    You're not selfish at all and your friends should mind their own business.

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