Is this any good, what do you think?
The Pidgeon coup
There was frost on the garage roof
pigeons were resting in their coup
some were awake, some sound asleep
but sly old fox he scents them and leaps
but the coup is to high
the sly old fox thought he could fly.
- TinaLv 79 months agoFavorite Answer
I think you mean coop, not coup.
You have a rather dodgy rhyme scheme:
roof/with the half-rhyme coop/asleep with another near rhyme/ leaps
Then you finish with a couplet, but although it rhymes each line has a different rythm - so you have the first four lines that scan (pretty much) - until you get to the fifth line -but don't rhyme, and the last two that rhyme but don't scan.
Perhaps the last two lines could run:
But the coop was far too high
The silly fox thought he could fly.
Anyway you need to sort out your spelling - 'coop' and 'too' as in 'too high'
and perhaps work on the rhyme and the scansion.
- Man AbrierLv 59 months ago
It's childlike and lighthearted.
- MikeLv 79 months ago
Was that Walter Pidgeon? What did he overthrow?