is my sister depressed or just mean?

My little sister is 20. She is the youngest of 4 girls all fairly close in age. A couple of years ago, around the age of 16-18 she changed completely.  She is so mean and rude. Whether it’s to me, my sisters, my parents, etc. She really doesn’t hVe any sympathy for anyone and is an embarrassment to be out with in public because she has no regard for anyone. The way she talks to people, including family, it’s just always negative and rude. We have to walk on eggshells around her when we’re together as a family. She sleeps around a lot, even if it’s someone one of us sisters has been with she doesn’t care, she smokes weed (which isn’t a bad thing I don’t view weed as a “horrible” thing), got caught stealing and was put on probation but still would smoke even knowing she would be tested for it. She just has not a care in the world. She went to college and didn’t find great friends so ended up hating it. Took some time off to work at a food place where she was given responsibly and ended up quitting bc she didn’t like having the responsibly and just has such a bad Attidude And no work ethic. I can’t tell if that is just who she is as a person now that she’s grown or if she has some underlying issues but it makes me so sad I wNt to help. Does anyone have any insight or experience that may be able to direct me in the right way? I just feel bad for her and am so embarrassed to bring fiends or significant others around her. It really sucks 

5 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    As you're all adults there's no real reason you sister would need to be involved in your social life. So I wouldn't worry about that. She's clearly got some issues and should probably be assessed by a professional if she seems depressed (although this doesn't sound like clinical depression). It's more likely she's just got some emotional issues that would respond to talk therapy and doesn't need medication.

  • 4 weeks ago

    how can we know???? that's my question

  • 4 weeks ago

    This is your parent's fault for babying her and not EXPECTING her to take responsibility for what she says and does. Your parents have made her this way.

    Both she and your parents need a wake-up call, so STOP walking on egg shells and confront her and your parents.

    It's time for your parents to do their job.

    • mimi333 weeks agoReport

      Trust me, our dad is the most legit person I know. They have never allowed it, when she wS living at home she would be disciplined by groundings etc for this behavior. She has never cared. She has always been held accountable but just doesn’t care 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    It sounds like she lives at home and is unemployed? If so, your parents are the ones with the power to change this. I'm surprised they haven't done so. It's very unlikely you could influence her.

    IMO, she needs a complete mental and physical evaluation. This is something done on an inpatient basis, and your parents can force the issue. In fact, all states have laws where a person can be involuntarily committed by next of kin.

    It sounds extreme, but it's not. By far, the biggest cause of personality changes in someone her age is drugs. If she's on narcotics (opioids), this can be easily hidden. These people don't stumble or act high or whatever. The only thing you might see is enlarged pupils.

    Another lesser cause of this is head injury. More and more is becoming known about this, because it can change a personality quickly. Depression might be part of this, whether as a result of drugs or whether it's a clinical depression.

    Try to get your parents to see that she's completely miserable and needs to be evaluated. If it turns out nothing is going on, that would be surprising, but in that case, your parents have to start forcing her to be an adult. That means working or studying and contributing to the household. Otherwise, she'll still be there when she's 30 and too scared to strike out on her own.

    EDIT:  If that's the case, then it increases the odds something else is going on that has to be identified.   Even if she's living on her own, your parents are still next of kin and they can force the issue.  A drastic change like this just doesn't happen unless something MAKES it happen.   Try to get your dad to see this and get her into a mental unit at a hospital.

    • mimi333 weeks agoReport

      She doesn’t live at home. And my dad is very successful and all about responsibly. We have all had to have jobs at the right age, pay for things, he taught us how to live in the adult world growing up. Trust me, nothing is handed to her. She just no matter what goes on, has no regard for her actions

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  • 1 month ago

    she might be a little of both

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