Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry ยท 2 months ago

Can i have a feedback for my poem?

Our Homeland:๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ

There is no nation as glorious as our motherland-India

Which is utterly Alluring and Exquisite

Having Geographical features divergent and absolutely elegant.

Like Mountain ranges like the snow-covered Himalayas in the north and the Nilgiris in the South.

Or coasts like the Malabar and Coromandal which are nothing less than sublime.

Our history is filled is filled with lustre and splendour;

Our Monuments Built with grandour

Like the Taj Mahal with Marble has been mold;

It beautifies our planet tenfold

Nowhere do we see this sort of passion and zeal

These are things to never conceal.

India is a land of legends and epics

Like the Ramayana and Mahabharata

If you don't know them....Then you're just pathetic.

Our country is home to Tagore a great soneteer

His work will be recalled for zillions of years.

A garden is filled with different types of flowers yet it's unity in diversity is what makes truly enchanting,and so is our country which comprises of races of different kinds yet we stand tall United and as one living with peace and harmony.

Every human wants to go to heaven once theyve met their end...Well thats where we aldready are...Our motherland is indeed paradise on Earth.

And of course a very happy Independence day ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ

8 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Best Answer

    It is a good poem. Very well written

  • 1 month ago

    I think it helps sink information in to the subconscious mind more thourghly. Makes it easier to remember.

    .

  • 1 month ago

    I'm just not picking anything up about telemarketers, phishers or scammers trying to gain access to my windows PC (while pretending to be Microsoft employees), sorry but its just not typically India or Indians to me, nothign about curry too... strange

  • 2 months ago

    INDIA!

    Very Rapey Country.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    What poem???What poem??

  • 2 months ago

    You need alter the line re `pathetic` or it alienatez, and it zourz the grandeur of your fine poem.

  • Ruth
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    I think it's a bit simple and straightforward, but if that's what you were going for then it's not a bad thing! The part I think you need to work on is the bit that starts "A garden.." and ends with "...peace and harmony," that's a very long section that I think should be broken up some more somehow.

  • 2 months ago

    Ramayana and Mahabharata? Never heard of them. You've just made up those names. It's obvious. Still, it's nice to see Native Americans getting poems written about them. Well done.

    • Tina
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      Er... Ruth... I think he knew that...

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