Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 4 months ago

Is it rude that I'm telling guests they have to bring a gift to my wedding?

I don't think it is, but my future SIL says that I'm demanding too much.

My fiancé and I are spending in total 25k on this wedding nearly half our total savings together. I just told everyone that a gift is mandatory. Whether that gift be something big or small EVERYONE over the age of 18 has to bring something. Now I have friends and family angry at me stating that I'm being "rude" or "Greedy"

Does it sound that way?


I'm not asking anyone to pay, I just want something. The gift doesn't have to be a microwave or a stove. Socks are great too! Snacks, anything! I don't think that's a lot to ask from people who are getting to be in an EXPENSIVE ballroom for FREE, eat expensive catered food for FREE with an expensive DJ playing songs THEY recommend.

Update 2:

You guys are overstating this, I'm not demanding I'm asking. If someone doesn't bring something I won't kick them out lol. But ofc if you don't go with regular wedding "norms" here you're always the bad guy. It's 2019 not 1980, come on.

57 Answers

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago
    Best Answer

    Well it does seem a bit rude, but do you really think that many people would go to a wedding without bringing you something? I mean, it would be rude of someone not to bring one in most cases, but I doubt there will be many people doing that. So, is it going to bother you that much if a handful of people didn't bring you anything? Let them look like the rude ones. Also, often guests are given info on where the couple has a gift registry on a website. In a way, that is like telling people you expect a gift. But apparently it's the thing to do. But anyway, like I was saying, I don't think you should bother to say anything because most people will bring one anyway, and the ones that don't will look like the rude ones.

  • Lita
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Yes, it is incredibly rude and tacky. Gifts are not mandatory. It doesn't matter how much you choose to spend gifts are never mandatory.

  • 4 months ago

    I am going to have a small wedding. For one night you wear a gown, spending too much on the event and then get divorced. hmmm

  • ron h
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    It's good that you've revealed yourself so early. That will certainly cut down on your list of friends. (BTW, who told you you had to spend $25k on a 1-day wedding?)

    • g
      Lv 7
      4 months agoReport

      Whoa Tony - you need to check your translator.

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  • 4 months ago

    YOU are a selfish moron.. I wouldn't go to your wedding with the stuck up attitude you have.. I have better things to spend my money on then you as you are so self centered your marriage will probably last less then 2 years before your soon to be husband wakes up and sees how materialistic you really are.

  • drip
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Whether it is a birthday , shower, wedding or what ever you never ever ask for a gift. Never. It is up to your guest to decide if they will give you a gift. And what gift they will give is up to them. You don’t ask or say a gift is mandatory.

    No one forced you to spend that much on your wedding. The cost of your wedding is irrelevant to gifts

    Sorry but you are rude and greedy.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Yes, it's rude. Gifts are optional and you chose your wedding budget.

    Anyway, I'm doubting this is a legit question anyway.

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    It's extremely rude. It's your choice to spend that much on a wedding. Most guests would naturally assume they were to bring a gift of some sort as it is customary. It's totally unnecessary and rude to demand a gift.

  • 4 months ago

    I understand...someone forced you to spend 25k?

  • 4 months ago

    Yes it's rude. Friends and family go to weddings, not paid customers. You're making attendees pay using gifts to attend your wedding. You've downgraded them from friends and family to paid customers.

    Really crass.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    I hope you are a troll - - - because if you are serious, there won't be many at the wedding - or afterwards.

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