Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 6 months ago

Is a $20 birthday gift from your brother really cheap? (We're both adults)?

So every year I spend about $90-$120 on a birthday gift for my brother. I make about $20 an hour. I think of it as 4-6 hours worth of work is the value of the gift. If I work a short 8hr shift I make $160. He makes about $18 an hour but has more money than me. He knows I spend that much (which I feel is reasonable) it's 0.3 percent of my annual income. His is 0.05 percent which is 1.1hrs of work for him. So once a year he thinks his brother's birthday is worth 1.1hrs of work. I know that he is frugal, and sometimes even cheap so I thought because I spent $120 dollars most recently that he would probably spend $80 (2/3rds) of what I spent. But you know I figure for his income that $50 would be the bare minimum. When I found out it was $20! I was very offended. I am convinced that he is actually a bad person. He constantly blows me off when I make time in my busy schedule to see him, Hes always rude to me and ignores what I say because his phone is more important. He is beyond selfish. Im his brother for God sake. "Its the thought that counts!" He doesnt even put any thought into it either! Its so predictable what he got, its not unique, its not special, its lame. I am embarrassed that I was "generous"... Generous would be $300 (15hrs) So obviously I'm gonna get him like a $25 giftcard to Mcdonalds next year (but that would still be more generous)

19 Answers

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  • audrey
    Lv 7
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    So don't spend so much on him next time.

    • Zach6 months agoReport

      I wont its embarrassing. I dont buy gifts that are expensive I just get what I know would make them happy. Something they would never guess I knew they wanted. I ignore price tags. Ofcourse I wouldnt buy a car that spoils people. My dad never spoiled me, he taught me to work hard for those you love.

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  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Grow up. It's the thought that counts.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    We gave up buying gifts for each other years ago.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    kind of but he didnt have to give you anything at all

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  • 6 months ago

    You sound like the selfish one! No one is obligated to get you a present and at least he gets you something. You don't have to spend as much as you do on him and obviously you're only doing it to get something in return so it's not like you're thinking of him. It's just weird that you added all that up and expect him to spend that much.

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  • Tj
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Time to stop gifts. You are both adults...A card is appropriate.....talk to him, tell him its time to stop the gifting

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  • 6 months ago

    No. It's an effort to celebrate your birthday. How much is spent isn't the point, nor is the gift. What is important is that the giver is doing so to celebrate you because you matter to them. Offering him a bigger gift doesn't mean you celebrate him more or that he matters more to you than you to him because love, friendship and family are not competitive sports where a score is kept. And when you do, you harm the relationship.

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    • linkus86
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      If you are a Buddhist, you need to go back to temple because to be a Buddhist you wouldn't be so wrapped up in material wealth/gifts to confuse what your are suggesting as a valuable lesson.

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  • Murzy
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Be glad that he remembers your bday and gets you a gift.

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  • Mark
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Let me guess: you also think that B-S about "your fiance doesn't love you unless he spends a year's worth of salary and sells a kidney for a wedding ring" stuff.

    • Zach6 months agoReport

      Lol no. Rings are dumb. $20 is very cheap

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  • Nancy
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    No, it's not. It's normal. Your $90 to $120 birthday presents are what's not normal. They're over-the-top. He doesn't even want to get those gifts from you, hence the $20 gift, meaning he clearly wants his next birthday gift to be reasonably priced. He's not sending a message that he's cheap. He's sending a message that you are going overboard and he wants it to stop.

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    • Zach6 months agoReport

      Look it up. Its a statistic pulled from a nation wide survey. Some people spend $500-$1000. It just depends on how much you make. I've been homeless and still bought $50 gifts for my family. And kind people gave me food. Im not trying to brag or anything. But explain where im coming from

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  • 6 months ago

    Really. You are upset over a few dollars for a birthday gift? Is that really the most important thing in life? Does it really affect your whole relationship with your brother? Really?

    If it bothers you that much then next birthday go with a $20 gift. Then it is no longer an issue.

    • Zach6 months agoReport

      No did you read the way he treats me? The average price for a bday gift given to close family members is $179. Unless you are homeless theb $20 is just greedy and rude. I care more about the thought. But he puts no thought into. I spend a few weeks getting something you would never guess.

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