My boyfriend got another woman pregnant. Should I break up with him?
I asked this once already but I need more opinions. He didn't cheat. He hooked up/had sex with another girl right before he started dating me and he just found out that she's pregnant and keeping the baby. Me and him have been dating for almost 3 months. I really like him, love him even but i just don't think I should be in a relationship with somebody who is having a baby with another woman.
- red2queenLv 512 months ago
You're young. Unless you're ready to raise kids now (you'll be helping him pay child support for his kid out of your paycheck and/or acting as a babysitter for the kid for the next 23 years) then dump him.
- 12 months ago
Yes you should dump him
- friskymisty01Lv 712 months ago
you said he hooked up with this other woman before you two got together*.........so you're right..he didn't cheat*...n im sure he'll request a DNA once the child is born to be certain it IS his child*.......You now have to figure out if you're wanting to stay in this relationship..even tho u know he obviously doesn't have feelings with this other girl/baby mama.........she just happened to wind up preggers........but r u ready for all the drama* that may occur ? r u ready to stand beside him raising a baby?......uve only been dating 3months.........time for u to do some serious thinking if ur wanting to go through this journey with him n a new child*?? gluck*
- Anonymous12 months ago
No! that's what good guys do
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- kimLv 712 months ago
Your kidding right. Wow I thought I was dumb staying in an obvious oneside love relationship way way too long. But you drag stupid to a new level.
- SheilaKLv 412 months ago
If you stay with him, remember the mother will always be in your life and she will control him through the kid. The kid will always be first, not you. He will have to pay support for that kid and that kid will be first. I would get away ASAP now and make a life with someone who will put YOU first.
- YYYZZ 2Lv 712 months ago
Obviously. Or do you want to live with someone you cannot rely on?
- Dave B.Lv 712 months ago
There's no need to be mad at the guy (or his ex) about this, but I wouldn't recommend sticking it out. This is going to negatively affect your life in a number of ways.
First of all, get ready to be his second priority, at best. This is an inherent imbalance in the relationship, and it's permanent. Worse yet, the relationship didn't start out this way, so you're really going to feel the difference. He will presumably be your first priority, and you'll always be a distant second to him. I've been there, and it is not a good feeling. And it's not as though you can get upset with him for prioritizing his son or daughter.
Secondly, that ex is in his life forever, which means she's in your life forever. Even if she's sweet and unintrusive, she is going to get under your skin in one way or another. You can't imagine what it's like to watch your partner and his ex have conversations about schools, or doctor's appointments, or parenting decisions right in front of you like you're not there. And get ready for a lot of uncomfortable talks with your partner about the level of involvement you're allowed or not allowed to have with a child that will occasionally live in your house.
Child support is a whole other discussion. It's going to happen, and even in the best of circumstances, it sucks. It's going to hurt him financially, and will hurt both of you if the two of you move in together. You'll find yourself scrutinizing every purchase the ex makes, and looking over the kid with a microscope to try to judge how much of that child support has actually gone toward his/her wellbeing. Spoiler alert: it won't be all of it, probably by a long shot.
God help you if the two of you later have children together. You'll quickly find that many of the parenting decisions have already been made for you, because that's how the last kid was raised, and therefore your husband has more experience, or things need to be fair, or whatever. And as big as your heart might be, you will of course love one of your husband's children--yours--far more than the other. And since that child will live with the two of you and the other won't (until the "I want to live with Dad" phase, anyway), chances are good that he'll love one of them more also. Yeah. That doesn't get talked about, but it's true.
You didn't sign up for this, and you don't have anything to prove. Don't waste your life by trying to show the world what a cool, understanding partner you are. Your boyfriend probably isn't a bad guy, but he is definitely not worth the level of stress that a baby is going to bring into the relationship. Find someone better matched to your lifestyle, and don't get sucked into somebody else's family drama. Going your separate ways is the right decision for both of you: you don't want to be dragged down by baby drama, and he doesn't need to tiptoe around relationship issues while he's trying to figure out fatherhood.
- KellyLv 712 months ago
Well you answered your own question that you think you shouldn't be in the relationship.
Some people do this (men and women) and others do not. My ex and I were married but separated and he fathered a child during the separation who was born after we reconciled. I was who ended up raising that baby, she's 18 now. She never lived with her bio mom, she lost parental rights before she was born and after my ex established parental rights, she went home with him/us. I adopted her just after her 1st birthday and when he and I eventually divorced anyway, when I left I took her (and a child we share) with me. I'm the only mom she knows. She knows about her bio mom (who is deceased) though and has a relationship with her bio mom's family and a half sister she has (different dad). I get along well with her bio mom's family.
- BurgooLv 612 months ago
make him knock you up first