Christians why won’t God heal me and why does he hate me?

I rarely get enthusiastic about anything and my relatives are convinced that my anger will cause me to have a heart attack before the age of 30. Maybe I wouldn’t be such a ***** if people wouldn’t get on my last nerves. I didn’t ask to be brought into this world but I’m afraid to die. I wish I could earn Gods love... show more I rarely get enthusiastic about anything and my relatives are convinced that my anger will cause me to have a heart attack before the age of 30. Maybe I wouldn’t be such a ***** if people wouldn’t get on my last nerves. I didn’t ask to be brought into this world but I’m afraid to die. I wish I could earn Gods love but maybe I will find something else to do. Hyper Calvinism is the way to heaven and God hates certain people. I just wanted to be loved and to be happy but I guess Jesus hates me. Why did he not allow my mom to abort me?
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