What you are saying is that even if something makes your hurt, you are attached and don't want to face "withdrawal symptoms" of breaking up .. so you stay with him.
That's like eating rotten chicken, vomiting, and then eating it again the next day .. and the day after ... and the day after ....
I understand being afraid to be alone, but until one IS comfortable being alone ... liking their own company and not being afraid of life .. until then, we will NOT attract or be attracted to anyone we CAN make love with work.
And in the meantime, NO single person is enough for all of our psychological needs.
Whether you stay with him or not, you MUST make some friends. Take evening classes ... or join a group that pursues an interest of yours.
And for your own sake, you need to leave him. And learn to like yourself.