I taught my husband to cook when we married at age 19. We have been married for decades. He is better at some dishes, but not all of them, now. If you get tired, you just say, Hey, why don't we switch off on cooking for a while. Then it's your turn to do the dishes after every meal, and tidy the kitchen. We both do the shopping together most of the time and whether one person is doing the cooking for the weekend or evening, or we're cooking together for the holidays, we usually make a big list with detailed measurements, etc, for the one who does the shopping on his/her own.
He is the one who loves all of the cooking shows and grew up in a major city with a family who didn't cook but had a LOT of money to eat out constantly. I'm the pinch hitter who knows how to cook all of it, and he has learned to be more balanced between his specialties and regular foods. We just have different backgrounds and his Mexican cuisine and prime rib, homemade bread, etc is the best while my standards, general baked goods, and Italian cuisine is better. I have skills from generations of good cooks, and am very proud that I taught him at least 1/2 of what he knows.
For him, the cooking is relaxing. For me, I'm like Yosemite Sam in a kitchen but sxxt gets done. It all works as long as somebody takes over for cleanup. I end up doing the deep cleaning no matter what so it works out. He repairs the fridge, I defrost the fridge. I deep clean the kitchen several times a year, he helps with so many other things in regular cleaning. He makes the coffee every morning...which I appreciate.
When one of us is ill in the hospital, the other can take care of everybody in the house. It's important to know that and show your kids that that is how it should be when you're in a family--especially when mom is pregnant. If you have kids, one day they can take their shift in the kitchen and help do the dishes as well. Free child slavery!
I'm better at doing most of the cleaning, and used to be a professional painter once, but that doesn't mean I didn't paint the house inside and out with him and teach him everything I could. It's not up to my standards but just because I'm better at it doesn't mean he shouldn't help. Just an example. He's done massive repairs on his own and I learn from him or do some other project at the same time. That's life.
I was raised by my grandparents: and like somebody else on here, I used to watch my grandmother (who was the cook) employing my grandfather for KP duty. He grew our produce, brought it in, cleaned it, peeled the potatoes. He had been a smartaxx in the army during WW2 and was the fastest potato peeler on Earth. He loved being with her and reducing the time she'd have to be on her feet after ALSO working all day long, and on the job in high heels too.
Last thought: One day, one of you could be chronically ill or disabled--it's important to realize that you may one day have to do it all--and if you didn't think of that when you married, you shouldn't have married at all. In sickness and in health..
It sounds like you might need the competitive cooking relationship, seeing as you already know you're "the best". Maybe she doesn't agree....
· 10 months ago