Do you like my poem, A leap of love?

She made a promise to her mother

To learn to dance just like no other

But she could feel it in her vision

To never make one bad decision

You see her mom had done a move so daring

And found the floor was not so sparing

And now she’s slightly paralyzed

Her dream is done unrealized

Well as time went by a new contest

Her daughter vowed to be the best

She felt her mother watching her

Praying old events will not occur

But she glided to that very move

And did the leap and found her groove

Then like Fred Astaire did with a broom

She danced the floor and swept that room

Then in her ears there came a roar

The votes were in a perfect score

And to all the others who had tried

With that leap of love they were denied

But a vision seen then was not kept

Her mom forgave her as they wept

They felt their tears, they shared their cries

Her mom had won now through her eyes

3 Answers

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  • 4 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes,I enjoyed reading it..It was a good story and easy to understand.

    It is nice sometimes to read a poem that has a good outcome.

    I liked this the best.

    Then like Fred Astaire did with a broom

    She danced the floor and swept that room

    It is different and unique.

  • 4 years ago

    An enjoyable read about living Vicariously. The couplet rhyme scheme d

    If I may make some non offensive suggestions.

    S1, L2, I'd remove "just"

    S2, L1, Your meter in the rest of the poem is fine. This line it's thrown off. Also in L4, I'd choose a word other than "done"---"gone" or another.

    S3, L1, I'd remove "well"

    I might also try some punctuation, if only for pause and effect.

  • 4 years ago

    Lots of Mothers live there life through their daughters

    And so she dances harder for her mother ...

    Good poem

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