Lv 7
dman63 asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 9 years ago

How to deal with a friend who has become very rude towards everyone?

Recently a friend of ours has become very rude and obnoxious towards everyone, but particularly towards my wife. We have been friends with them for many years, and I've known her husband for the last 20 years - he isn't the problem. My wife has done nothing to offend her. Last weekend a group of us were camping, and she started in on my wife again when I wasn't around. My wife told

me about it, and we weren't really sure what to might have been the fact that she drinks a lot

and she's pretty frustrated about some things in her life right now. Later that afternoon, a few of us were playing bocce, and a ball I threw accidentally hit their tent. She went ballistic on me, and

though I apologised she kept on yelling and threatened to start throwing bocce balls at my car. I yelled back at her that it was unintentional, and it wasn't nearly the same thing. She kept on yelling, and I finally told her to shut up. I was just so fed up with her picking on my wife and I that I just wasn't going to listen to any more of her crap. Later on that night she was complaining about my wife being upset with her, and then she tried to drive their van around the campsite after drinking all day. It took all that for her husband to finally put his foot down. The next day she quietly told me that she wasn't allowed to drink any more that weekend. I apologized for shouting at her, and she apologized as well. To her credit, she was a lot more pleasant since she wasn't drinking and the rest of the weekend went by a lot better. However, all of us have noticed that she's been kind of rude and nasty lately, and she swears at their 8 year old son a lot. I've thought about it a lot over the past week, and while I think it's her own frustrations that are causing her to lash out at others. She never really wanted a child, and that seems to bother her a lot, though she's usually a good mother apart from the swearing. Sometimes I think she's jealous of my wife and I. We have no children (by mutual choice) and we lead a pretty drama-free life. My personal thought is that she should lay off the wine for a while and take a long hard look at herself before she alienates everyone. As well, though I will try to be patient with her, I will not tolerate any more snide comments about my wife. I would just like some outside comments on the matter. Any suggestions?

4 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    i think you should talk to her. if you are as you say, friends then this should be no problem. just try and find a cause deep down in her. the most likely thing is perhaps like you said she is jealous of your wife and your relationship or is it something to do with her husband. just talk to her as a friend. nothing more, nothing less.

    Source(s): just know.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Tell him to stop being a douche bag man pull him aside! Just tell him in a non confrontational way.. usually the way I would handle that would just say to him .. " Look, you' know I like you but you' need to chill out on this.. " Then followed by " People are starting to say that..." Next he will demand to know who is saying it.. You're response is " I'm not giving any names, I'm just giving you a heads up". Then let it go.. One thing I've learned is it's best to deal with a confrontation indirectly, take it from an angle or semi friendly approach.. It's not worth Hitting him like a train.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    i think that you should just not hang out or talk to this woman if she drinks. obviously its the booze that makes her rude and obnoxious. if she is an alcoholic, just don't associate with her until she's sober. and if she gets all butt-hurt about it, just tell her you don't wanna deal with her because she is rude to you and your wife when she is not sober.

    Source(s): personal experience.
  • 9 years ago


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