Pro Life vs Pro Choice: Could I have your opinion?

My daughter in law in pro choice and I am pro life. I have never had any confrontation with her and I have been trying to maintain a peaceful coexistence, even though we are light years apart on our views. The first problem arose after the tragic murder of Dr. Tiller. My daughter in law posted a letter to the editor in our local paper criticizing pro life groups and saying that some of them were probably celebrating the death of Dr. Tiller. This really shocked me because I found the death of Dr. Tiller a tragedy, and although I did not agree with what he was doing, I certainly was not drinking champagne and toasting to his death. I don't want to debate the issue of abortion, but just the propriety of making a public statement to the detriment of internal family relations. I spoke to my son about the issue and he is in total agreement with his wife. They don't care at all what the consequences are, or if my feelings were hurt. I have never posted any inflammatory material against their views. I don't care what side of the issue you are on. Do you think she acted responsibly by posting that letter which I found very insulting and demeaning?


Life Coach: I stated that I was not debating the issue of abortion, merely the propriety of using a public forum to criticize my beliefs. I am her father in law. Shouldn't she have used some constraint to help foster good relations in the family?

4 Answers

  • Red E3
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It never is easy to experience sensitive subjects within the core family.

    I think it is important to separate the issue Pro Life vs Pro Choice. It is quite clear that neither party will agree. This is true throughout the country. It is a rather nasty debate with both sides having extremists that are unyielding and rude.

    What is important in my mind is the ability to agree to disagree. We can have different views and still love one another.

    I think she had the right to publish the letter as she felt strongly enough to write it and send it out. You should be proud to have a daughter in law with conviction and a backbone. Unfortunately there are some that cheered this reprehensible act. They should be chastised. The letter was not directed at you. It is important you must acknowledge and accept this for the sake of the family.

    The fact that you found it demeaning is based on the fact that the act was reprehensible in your view as well. If you are Pro Life and murder are diametrically and fundamentally opposites. I understand your angst.

    I would write my own letter to the editor. Explain why you feel strongly that to be pro life does not necessitate your agreement with radicals that murder because of political or religious beliefs. Even if this is not published it will be good to put your thoughts on paper and release them into the world.

    Do not lose sight that you are really not angry at your daughter in law but truly angry of the irresponsible murder.

    Take the high road, Family is far more important than points of view.

    Agree to disagree.

  • hawke
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Pro-existence persons think that abortions will have to in no way occur underneath any instances. Pro-option persons think that there will have to in no way be any prohibitions to any lady having an abortion at any time. These are the severe perspectives of the obstacle. Most persons have perspectives someplace in among. Usually, how they label themselves is located through which severe view is nearest their possess perspectives. Others might simply see themselves as extra liberal or conservative and can relate to that label.

  • 1 decade ago

    She is not in this world to please you. I am firmly pro choice and I think each woman has to face her own decision, something it is biologically impossible for you to ever personally do. Stop trying to control the opinion of others. Pro choice does not mean you think it is a great idea at all, I just would rather see 20 abortions than one more tiny abused child. You are not going to support, care for or in any way help put all those unwanted babies, so you sound pretty pompous.

    Let me put it this way: no one is forced to GET an abortion. Why should any woman be forced NOT to get one if she deems it necessary? It is none of your business.

    Also, just to avoid a family war over something like this, causing them to move to Anchorage Alaska, maybe you should love your son & daughter in law enough to just drop this topic completely.

    To answer you other question, I fund trying to control the views of 2 adults insulting and demeaning.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that passionate issues, incite passionate people into doing passionate things. I try not to subscribe to any black and white beliefs myself, because life is rarely like that. I believe at the end of the day, we all stand alone, and that decisions that we make always have repercussions, both good and bad. I think it is wrong to promote grandiose generalisations though about anybody or anything.

    Because your d.i.l presented her opinion in such a public manner, then you have the right to respond and respectfully voice your opinion in such matters. Not necessarily regarding her pro choice/life stance, but about her generalisations of people in general.

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