A creepy poem comments?

In the woods I hear beeping

I feel behind me people creeping

Are these people I am feeling

Can they be real or am I dreaming?

So I turn round, and I start staring

But all I see is moonlight glaring

Then my body slowly quivers

Breaking out, in all out shivers

These strange sounds that I am hearing

Closely by and near that clearing

I hear a howl and then a pause

Just like somehow it had a cause

So I give out an evil blast

For ten seconds it did last

It was like a curling yell

Who evers out there go to hell

Well I can't believe what I am seeing

A young couple surely fleeing

They are scared much more then me

They left their clothes there on a tree

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Are these people I am feeling

    Can they be real or am I dreaming?

    (you might have forgotten to edit out "Can they")

    Shouldn't "Breaking out, in all out shivers" be "Breaking out, all in shivers?" Or maybe you're trying to keep a meter, so it can be just "Breaking out in shivers."

    "So I turn round, and I start staring" doesn't fit. Why do you turn around? Better that you try to run but can't move. "I want to run, but I'm frozen posing, / And all I know is the moonlight glaring." And change "A howl and then a pause / Like somehow it had a cause"

    Like a high curdling yell

    Coming straight from hell

    "For ten seconds it did last" should be, "For ten seconds did it last."

    "These strange sounds that I am hearing" maybe should be "What strange sounds I'm hearing"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    AHhahaha, the end was funny! The beeping part makes no sense.

  • 1 decade ago

    nice, but a bit too rhyme-y

  • 1 decade ago

    It was tight.

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