My wife thinks I cheated?

My wife just came home with a look in her eye

Like if her looks could sure kill, I'll be dead where I lie

She said I've heard rumors about you last night

I really don't know, but her look just aint right

She says I am not stupid because I am blond

I am smart for my years, and probably beyond

Last night you came home and your clothes had a smell

I went drinking with friends, and spilled one oh well

It wasn't the drinking that is making her mad

She talked to a woman who she thinks I had

She said she was there, but her memory has faded

You all did some shots and flirtations were traded

I laughed till I cried when I heard what she said

That got her quite mad with her face now turned red

You think I was there to have an affair

It all came about from a drunken friends dare

One guy offered fifty to see what she'd say

If he could just have her, and have his way

She said he is ugly and thinks he is queer

And said if he wants her, she need more then beer

So he bought the table pitchers and shots

And after some maybes its now turned to nots

Then she said to me I'll give him a chance

If you get on the floor, for just one slow dance

She then suddenly asked if I'd like a feel

I told her my friends think, they can't be real

She then turned to my friends and hollered this out

Just one dollar for feels, to disprove that doubt

Then all through that bar the men got in line

And each one said real, time after time

Well I guess I was tempted but nothing is free

After I lent all my last buck, I had none left for me

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