Jas B
Lv 7
Jas B asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 decade ago

Should we teach our children how to avoid abusive relationships?

Those of us who try to be good parents advise our children on drugs, alcohol and sex education amongst other things before they go out into the world as we want to protect them.

Should we also give them advice on how to recognize boy/girlfriends who are potential abusers.

If you look at websites which give the warning signs of how to recognize an abuser, those who have been abused recognize some if not all of these warning signs but this is of little use in hindsight. http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm

Often abusers will excuse these early warning signs "because they love you so much" or express remorse and promise not to to it again and when are children are young, inexperienced and in love they do not see the signs for what they are.

So should we make sure that our children know what to look out for before they start dating to try and stop them getting into such relationships.

Update:

R.Gaspari; I certainly did but do you really think most parents do.

Update 2:

Tyler A; I agree but so many children are bought up today in single parent families sometimes with little or no contact with a father figure.

Update 3:

Candice: The point of my question is do we give our children enough information about the signs to look out for in an abuser. Obviously all good parents say don't let a guy or gal hit you, but very often these abusers are clever and it is the less obvious signs which show their true personality. Many of these signs are subtle and often excused by the abuser.

As to your abuse, I run my own business have two grown up children, one at university and my self esteem and common sense are just fine. Maybe if you had read the question properly you might possibly have been able to understand it.

5 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I do think it's important to make people aware of the common warning signs an abuser may show, but I don't think it's something which needs to be explicitly taught to children.

    Abusive people often look for those who are vulnerable or have low self esteem, and many of the victims in abusive relationships were also abused as children. So, I think that bringing up your children to value self-sufficiency and have confidence in themselves will be the best defence against abusers.

    We should work on the assumption that most relationships aren't abusive, and most men are not abusers. That would give a child a healthier and more positive view of society and other people.

  • 1 decade ago

    my dad taught me, he always said if a man ever hit you, get him back. you are not anyone's punching bag. If they don't have something nice to say they might as well keep quite. I've been married 34 years now, and my husband nor I have ever called out names, nor have we ever hit one another.

    I did date a jerk who thought it was cute to knock me half way across the room, until he saw his car the next day. I broke every window in it. and slashed the tires. When he confronted me with it, he met my 38. After that he left me alone.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    We all do our best to teach; whether our teaching translates into anything more is a different matter. I don't think anyone encourages their child to enter abusive relationships, but it still happens and all we can do is be there when they need us..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    in my own opinion the best way to teach them this is to not be in one yourself because if your children sees thier dad hitting their mom than their gonna think that that is how those kind of relationships are supposed to be

    Source(s): eric mayes (health teacher)
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  • 1 decade ago

    Of course ! Stupid question, you must be a low-esteemed, clueless on common sense parent.

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