Progressing in relationship, scary?

Question

Backstory: I'm an 18 year old male who's had two sexual partners before, both in long-term, monogamous relationships. My last relationship ended rather messily with a miscarriage (by no means was the pregnancy intended.)

Now I find myself 5 months into a relationship with a new partner. We've taken it relatively slow (my last two progressed to sex in 3 months, and then 10 days, respectively), and we've talked about moving on to the final stage. In fact, she's getting an IUD this next week. However, the thought of sex terrifies me now. Just talking about it today turned me into a blubbering child. I'm scared to get that committed to someone, I'm scared to risk pregnancy again, and I'm scared to take from her her innocence. In the past, that's always seemed to cement the relationship in the girl's mind, taking it from casual to seriously committed for life.

I tried searching for this, but all I found were older women who had tired of sex, nothing for people who've had sex and are now scared of it. I need advice on what to do, if this is normal.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I can't tell you if it's normal or not, but it sounds like it's something you should try to overcome with your partner. You should talk to her about it, let her know how you feel and allow her to comfort you about the situation. If you're afraid of pregnancies, use condoms along with her freshly inserted IUD. That's double the protection. Also, sex doesn't even have to be a part of the relationship. Express your discomfort to her and together you all can make a decision. (: Don't be afraid of it, though. It's life. Just try your hardest to be safe about things in the future.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Covered all the bases. Thanks to everyone though, all were good answers.

Answer 2

I'm sorry about your last relationship. That's tough. If you're not ready to be in a sexual relationship that's understandable.

But part of being ready is being able to put that past behind you. Until you're ready you may need to avoid a sexual relationship.

Answer 3

Yes this is normal...Just leave past experiences behind and move on. you'll have great relationship and sexual life!
All the best