What do you think of this poem so far?

Question

Hello :)

So I'm writing a poem on the plot of The Boy in The Striped Pajamas. What do you think of it so far?

Suggestions welcomed!


From Berlin to “Out-With”
Bruno’s family took flight
The prospect of a job as commandment
In his father’s sight

A new bedroom
New neighbours too
Blockaded by a fence
Their neighbour is the Jew

Friends left behind
Tutor’s lessons fill the day
No kids to play with
Nothing to do anyways

Bruno explores the fence one day
Bored out of his mind
A boy, his age, quite similar to him
Shmuel is what he finds

While similar in thought,
In appearance it is not so
Bruno’s clothes are tidy
Stomach filled, and free to go

Shmuel tells a different story
Starving, beaten, frail
Clothed in striped pajamas
And he is quite pale

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

amazing, it is really good :)

Source(s):

Me, Myself, and I :)

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

aw shucks