I have pretty serious anger issues...What should I do?

Question

I'm a 19 year old male, and I have trouble controlling my anger a lot of the time. (Usually when I'm alone) Let me just say I don't lose my temper unless I lose in a game, sport, or any other competitive activity. If someone wants to argue with me, poke fun at me, etc, I really don't get too upset. The only other instance I can think of that can really piss me off is when I lose patience..or when people constantly blame me for things and get upset with me. When I am around my friends, I can keep my anger down. I'm the calmest, coolest guy around my friends and I seem completely normal. But when I'm around my family, I really don't mind letting loose a little. I'll yell, throw things, and even get violent. (only with my older brother) But the worst side of me comes out when I'm alone. When I play games online, video games, or store up a bunch of anger from something that happened in the past few minutes, I'll just go crazy. I pound my fist against desks, punch walls, throw/break things, and just simply don't know what to do with myself. I'll yell to the point of getting a headache. But I'm usually able to get over it pretty quickly. Just those initial 20-40 seconds are pretty freaky. Sooo any ideas? Does this sound like a big deal? Should I seek help? Get counseling? Or is it just a phase that will pass in time? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot!

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I am so glad I am not alone. I am the same. I am female, pretty, and look and act normal but I am a "rager" like you. Yes, you need help. Anti-anxiety meds will help and counseling. But honestly, what worked for me was GOD and POSITIVE THINKING!!. I know! You are rolling your eyes!!!! JUST HEAR ME OUT PLEASE.

But seriously, after meditation failed, and after gaining weight from the meds, I felt lost. I now read "The Power of positive Thinking" By Norman V. Peale. It basically states that

YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK.

And if you have trouble with bad thoughts, angry thoughts, self defeat thoughts, then you need to PRAY AND PRAY HARD. God will help you. And you need to REPLACE AND RE-TRAIN YOUR BRAIN TO HELP YOU THINK POSTIVE. Here are some quotes from the book. Hope this helps. Also invest in a punching bag if you can. Punch that sucker so hard and then yell in a pillow. Also visualize being in prison for life for letting your anger one day get the best of you. I knew I was going to end up hurting someone sooner or later so I looked up youtube videos on being locked up and it scared me a lot. I realized I cannot get away with this forever. ALSO, RIGHT WHEN THE BOMB INSIDE YOU IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE LOOK AT AN OBJECT IN THE ROOM. ANY OBJECT. Start describing it in detail OUTLOUD and then on to the next thing. Do this until you chill out a bit more. DISTRACTION AND POSITIVE THINKING IS KEY. BELOW ARE QUOTES FROM THE BOOK. SAY THEM AND BELIEVE THEM AS YOU FEEL ANGER COMING ON.

"GOD IS WITH ME. GOD IS HELPING ME. GOD IS GUIDING ME." (Visualize his presence.)
GOD ALONE IS SUFFICIENT! GOD CALM MY MIND. FORGIVE ME OF MY IMPATIENCE. LET YOUR HOLY SPIRIT CALM MY MIND AND HEART.
THIS IS THE DAY WHICH THE LORD HAS MADE. I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT.
(repeat 3X)

i CAN HANDLE ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT COME MY WAY.

THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO FALL APART. GOD IS WITH ME AND HE WILL SEE ME THROUGH BECAUSE :



Prayer has the power to keep your reactions correct and sound.

"Where LOVE is GOD is."




BIBLE VERSES TO LOOK AT WHEN FEELING BAD ABOUT ANGER:

.."Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (part of Romans 12:12)

"I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

"The Lord says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you’.” Psalm 32:8

I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. (Psalm 145: 18-19)


POSITIVE THINKING QUOTES:
"confidence is a result of the thoughts that habitually occupy your mind."

"Never take counsel of your fear."--Stonewall Jackson

"A man is what he thinks about all day long."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"So you think so shall you be."--N.V.P

"GOD IS WITH ME. GOD IS HELPING ME. GOD IS GUIDING ME." (Visualize his presence.)

Source(s):

1)THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING BY NORMAN VINCENT PEAL.
2) THE HOLY BIBLE

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks a lot, that really helped. I'll definitely keep those ideas in mind. Hope everything works out for you too. Thanks agan, it's much appreciated! :)

Answer 2

Hey buddy, unfortunately it does sound like you do have an anger management problem because you stated that you get violent and punch things which ultimately is putting you in danger or inflicting injury on yourself. The good news is that you recognize that you have a problem and seem to be taking responsibity for your actions which is ideal for treatment. I recommend that you see a counselor for anger management asap. You really sound like it would benefit you.

Answer 3

write down advantages and disadvantages of your anger. then write all the angry thoughts you have and refute them

Source(s):

Feeling Good

Answer 4

use anger thou should for good

Source(s):

that rhymed yoda style bit<hes

Answer 5

You need to start keeping a record. Find a small diary. At the end of each day, write if you got angry, or if you had an anger free day. Maybe draw a happy or sad smiley face if that's easier. Then next to it write the reason why you got angry. Then after a few days look back at the times when you did get angry, it might be clearer why (and you already have an idea why). Then when you do those things, think about it before. Before you play a game, imagine yourself successfully completing the game without getting angry, even if you win or lose, or someone cheats, the successful outcome is that you finish the game, and you didn't get angry. Give yourself a score if you play a game successfully, maybe a tick in your diary. If you lost and still didn't get angry, give yourself two ticks. Another idea, is to change what you do, play less of those games that make you angry the most.