****it! I hate crushes! A little advice please?
I know this is extremely long, but I would be so grateful to anyone who could actually finish it and give me a little guidance
Firstly, sorry if my title seemed offensive. It just seemed like the best way to convey the emotions I'm feeling right now. Second, for the record: I'm 20, I'm gay (obviously), I live in Georgia, and I'm not as emotionally independent as I've always been (and used to being).
So, the deal is that I met this guy (also gay) who is a friend to my cousin. He's absolutely perfect in every way possible (Yes, I'm aware that every person on the planet has said this about their crush). I had met every kind of douchebag you could name, and then I met this guy; I could finally take a breath of heartpounding, stomach-turning, knee-weakening, light-headedness joy.
He was in the navy and he was on leave. This being so, I knew that it was only a matter of time before he had to go back. This didn't bother me that much, because I figured he would end up coming back.
I still hated having that "crush" feeling though. When it happened in the past (which was many times), it always ended in disaster for me. After each time, my heart would get tougher, I would learn lessons, I would trust people a little less, and I would become more independent. It was actually a good thing for me to go through, and I was becoming completely alright with the fact that I might not find someone.
Anyways, back to my current situation. We spent a lot of time together. He made me laugh; I made him laugh. He playfully made fun of me; I playfully made fun of him. He opened up to me; I opened up to him. He realized I was as love-burnt as he was; I realized he was as love-burnt as I was. He (reluctantly) admitted he had some feelings for me; I (reluctantly) admitted I had some feelings for him.
The day came that he finally had to go back to Japan. I felt ravaged, but hopeful. He gave me is Skype/Facebook info, and I gave him mine.
Fast forward 3 months, and we're talking on skype on a weekly basis. We're both extremely busy, but I seem to be the one putting in the most effort to talk every week. Though, if I didn't talk to him *at all* for a week, he would message me to check-up.
He tells me he's getting out of the navy in another month, and I couldn't be happier. He starts talking about what he wants to do, and where he wants to go, and I realize something: He's probably not coming back to Georgia (he was just visiting my cousin when he was on leave).
He changes his mind almost every week, as to what he wants to do. Ultimately, he decides to go back home (in North Carolina) and go back to grad-school.
This is where my problem is. I have a crush on this guy (a stupid, awful, uninvited crush), and he now lives 10 hours away from me. He's talked about me coming to visit, or him coming to visit, but a relationship is completely impossible! I've thought about maybe going to school there, but I feel it would be silly to uproot my life for a guy.
I just don't know what to do. Given my past experience, he's probably going to be able to move on a lot faster than I am. Then, I'll be left with a handful of unreciprocated emotions.
Has a situation arose for anyone else that is *ANYTHING* like this? How did you handle it? How can I get over this? What can I do?!
Thank you to *anyone* who made it this far (I probably wouldn't have), and another thanks for anyone who actually posts.
Someone who would be happy without love
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