I found out my fiance slept with my daughter. What should I do? Did I overreact?
I'm a 45 year old divorcee with 2 daughters Tiffani and Traci (age 18 and 15) both with my ex. 3 years ago, my older daughter Tiffani was taking private tennis lesson and her instructor Chuck and I started dating. Chuck isn't really my type. He's 3 years older than me with an old-school porn star stache, crude sense of humor, and a beer belly. He never went to college. I'm college-educated and have a career in marketing. He was funny though. We got engaged in December when Tiffani was back from college for the holiday and I have been planning my wedding. I was very excited to get married again. On Friday night I had a business dinner but it was cancelled last minute. When I got home, I couldn't find Traci or Chuck. Then I heard rhythmic slapping in Traci's room and voice I recognized as Chuck's. The door was locked so I started knocking. The sound stopped but no one answered the door. Finally a disheveled Chuck opened the door 5 minutes later and told me nothing was going on. I tried to hit him and Traci tried to stop us. Anyway Traci went to stay over at her friend's place and Chuck ran away. Both of them claimed nothing happened and that I'm paranoid but I found explicit images of both of my daughters on a USB drive he left behind. What should I do?
You should do anything to protect your children even if it does mean ruining his life. Tell the police and show them the photos he had of her that's disgusting. If you even think he touched your daughter you are right to act, a 15 year old is a child and he is an adult and you don't deserve to be hurt like that its so unfair on you for someone to come into your family and have the nerve to do that and be that perverted to that. Stand up for yourself, your daughter and your family don't worry about him!
I understand you don't want to ruin his life, but your main concern should be your daughters, and making sure that they are protected from pervs/ predators like him. Neither of them is really old enough to make very wise/mature decisions, so you need to be the mother and reasonable one and do it for them. Report his sorry butt, and of course end the engagement, never having anything to do with him again. If you don't you risk putting your daughters in further danger, as well as other, maybe even much younger girls. Men like this operate on a pattern. They do this because they are into and get some sort of sick thrill from it. Trust me, this is coming from a woman who was molested several times as a child. You have proof that he was doing things (or at least taking pictures) of/with your daughters, one of whom is a minor. Any explicit photographs he possesses of her are considered to child pornography, and that is punishable by law. Talk to your daughters. Let them know you have proof that he way overstepped his bounds. Get them to be truthful with you, and take your information to the police.
If the bedroom door was locked... then there was definitely something wrong going on. Both of them are lying to cover up for each other's wrong behavior. You ask what to do.. well I'd use the USB images of your daughters to threaten him. Tell him you'll go to the Police with this material if he ever comes near you or them ever again. I shouldn't have to suggest to you to cancel all the wedding plans, surely you don't want to marry such a man as he is... something of a sex pervert. Be thankful that you discovered the REAL person that he actually is before a marriage took place. You can't have a strong bond with a man who has sex with your own daughter behind your back... can you??? I couldn't !!
I genuinely agree with all the above posters who said to go to the Police and press charges. That is the best way to deal with the situation and send a message to the jerk who was your fiance. Everyone involved needs to learn that there are consequences to that kind of behavior. Especially the pervert.
You need to call the police and have him arrested. Men like him who have sex with underage girls--this isn't a one time thing. This is what he does. You say Tracy is 15 and Tiffani is 18? So three years ago when Chuck was Tiffani's instructor, SHE was 15? Do you really think he didn't have sex with her, too? Maybe it never stopped. And do you think you happened to catch him the one and only time he raped Traci? (It is rape if she's underage no matter what.) And I guarantee he's victimized other girls, whose parents still don't know about it and could do nothing to stop him. This isn't about "not ruining his life". This is about your responsibility as a parent. You have something those other parents didn't: you have the power to put him away, where he can't hurt anyone else's baby girl. If you let him get off scott free, now that you know what he is, he will do it again, and then you'll know that somewhere out there he's ruining more lives and you could have stopped it.
They are your daughters. Think about it. I really feel for you that your life was going so well and you were having the time of your life planning for the future. But do you STILL want a future with him? Are you trying to look for a reason to stay with him? You don't need an advice from here if that's where your heart lies.
He should NOT be taking explicit images of your daughters, ESPECIALLY of the younger one. It's wrong, and you know it. If you stayed with him... it's very likely this wrong behavior will continue to go on. Your older daughter may not know what's good for her, and your younger may not even want to know this. Please think for your daughters and LEAVE this guy. Please.